Mmmmmh! Sounds like! A problem! For Cuteya Catya Wooshya Chuuya. You looked really really really fucking confused the other day! Dismayed! So I gave you a mission! I'm the mission! A.... Missizai!!!
Pick one name, or I'm gonna get annoyed real quick.
[Oh he's going to have a headache before this is over, no doubt about it. He reaches up to run a gloved hand over his face, through his hair with a heavy sigh.]
If you really think you got high for my sake, I'm not sure why you think giving me a headache would help. So babysitting you is a mission now?
[That being said, he is still following after Dazai to stand by the side of the bed, already going through his mental checklist of necessities for times like these.]
Because it's distracting! Chuuya, do you know why you're so short? I'm going to tell you a super secret! A state secret. Come closer! Come very closer!
(see, he's gonna forget whatever the hell made him error 404 a-real quick, with how bouncy he is on the bed. toss and turn to this side, toss and turn to that side... grab chuuya to lay down with him.)
Did! You! Know! Astronauts can grow up to 3 percent taller in microgravity. You compress yourself, so that's why your spine never really had a break to grow! I knew this all along, so I cursed you with a self-fulfilling prophecy. Enjoy!
(he's so used to this it doesn't even bother him, even if he's extremely jittery. all this yelling, all this rage, and all dazai does is kiss his own index finger, and boop it onto chuuya's nose tip.)
[Hilariously, that actually manages to make Chuuya freeze, going cross-eyed for a moment as he squints at Dazai's finger like he plans to shove it up Chuuya's nose.]
Fuck, you're too high for me to even enjoy murdering you properly.
Wanna see?! I'll show you! Look, I'm great at proving points.
(and the poor hand is taken into his, teeth sinking into leather to remove what separates skin... and he bites. it's very gently, delicate, barely any force.)
[Chuuya's too busy grasping for a denial to throw at Dazai that he doesn't even manage to pull away in time. The delicate bite to his gloved finger is barely there, but for all the gentleness it seems to burn all the more, heat flooding Chuuya like wildfire, fingers twitching and eyes going wide as all his focus is dragged to the spot where Dazai bites him.
If anything, his delayed reaction only helps Dazai tug the glove away as he yanks his hand back as if scalded. The graze of teeth drags a strangled noise from Chuuya, choked and heated and unmistakably of surprise and arousal, a single word coming out in a gasp.]
See, Chuuya? When was I ever wrong in this life?! I'm never wrong! What happens if I do other things to it, and then leave!
(death. death, probably, it's a rhetorical question for something that is already going to happen, probably. best thing about being high is that, this time, the denial is bigger! right? he was high. doesn't count. never counted!)
[Chuuya's still frazzled and flustered, but Dazai's words manage to pull him back to his senses enough to snarl. One glove is missing somewhere amongst the bedding, but he'll find it later.]
What I want to know is how the hell you knew that!!
[Right now he wants to strangle Dazai, and his hands come up to grab him by the collar again and shove him down against the bedding. Has he been stalking him? Did he put cameras in his bedroom or something?!]
(oh. wow!!! it is definitely a nice way to go! his legs even sway a little, too long to fit the bed as is, and he laughs, as if no amount of roughness could ruin his perfect mood. debatable if he would even feel pain, anyway.)
Being smart! Did you know!!!!! I'm super smart!!!!!!!!!
[And he's going to be stuck there for a bit, because Chuuya's going to pin him to the bed. He is so very, very tempted to throttle the man, but roughly shoving him will have to do for now.]
Nope! I never saw it myself! It was a theory! And! I am always right! You're so red! Tiny, red, cute Chuuya! Give me your hand! I wanna see if your face blends with your hair!
(chuuya. this is a terrible place to be right now. not with how he might feel a twitch when dazai attempts to free himself from the grip.)
Like hell I am, you're just gonna do something weird!
[Well that's a relief, at least. If Chuuya gets home alive, he'll be able to rest easy in knowing there aren't cameras in his walls, probably. He is very much not amused by Dazai's gleeful crowing however, his face still carrying lingering redness.
Which only deepens once more when he feels that twitch right beneath him. He shifts, a baffled look on his face.]
[The realization makes Chuuya feel like Dazai just set him on fire, hands releasing dazai so he can start to slide back and away from the other's crotch-- which probably doesn't help either of them, because now Chuuya's dick is starting to get Interested, twitching in his pants and making him curse hoarsely, expression twisting in mortification.]
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(it makes complete sense. look how blue, look, he's so cute. he's gonna be talking about that for a while.
and he takes a beat. two beats. and then he runs to his cup, to down the remaining liquid before chuuya can stop him.)
Ooooookay! ♫
(and he tosses it behind his shoulder, not a care at the shattering sound.)
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Fuck. The sound of the cup shattering sounds extremely final, right now.]
You are going to be so wasted tomorrow. Or the day after.
[Honestly, who knows how much he put in that.]
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(twirls, twirls, drop on their bed.)
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[Oh he's going to have a headache before this is over, no doubt about it. He reaches up to run a gloved hand over his face, through his hair with a heavy sigh.]
If you really think you got high for my sake, I'm not sure why you think giving me a headache would help. So babysitting you is a mission now?
[That being said, he is still following after Dazai to stand by the side of the bed, already going through his mental checklist of necessities for times like these.]
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(see, he's gonna forget whatever the hell made him error 404 a-real quick, with how bouncy he is on the bed. toss and turn to this side, toss and turn to that side... grab chuuya to lay down with him.)
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[It's an empty threat, if he smothers Dazai like this he might gag and that would be messy. He needs to get a bucket, probably.
But when Dazai reaches out to yank him down to the bed, Chuuya isn't expecting it. He shouts as he goes tumbling down none too gently.]
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(RIP CHUUYA!!!)
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You WHAT!!!!!
[He's grabbing Dazai by the shirt collar again and shaking him, drugs be damned.]
YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!
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... Chuu!
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Fuck, you're too high for me to even enjoy murdering you properly.
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You can't murder me, anyway! It'd be like killing a part of you, and you can't have that, can you? Ah, I can do whatever I want!
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I could absolutely murder you, asshole!
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(HE KNOWS.)
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[And that sends Chuuya's face absolutely flaming red in record speed. A critical hit!!!
How did Dazai know?!]
You--!! That's not--!!
[Either Dazai has interrogated one of his one night stands, or he just knows in that crazy Dazai way of his.]
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(and the poor hand is taken into his, teeth sinking into leather to remove what separates skin... and he bites. it's very gently, delicate, barely any force.)
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If anything, his delayed reaction only helps Dazai tug the glove away as he yanks his hand back as if scalded. The graze of teeth drags a strangled noise from Chuuya, choked and heated and unmistakably of surprise and arousal, a single word coming out in a gasp.]
Fuck!!
[Dazai is trying to kill him.]
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(death. death, probably, it's a rhetorical question for something that is already going to happen, probably. best thing about being high is that, this time, the denial is bigger! right? he was high. doesn't count. never counted!)
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What I want to know is how the hell you knew that!!
[Right now he wants to strangle Dazai, and his hands come up to grab him by the collar again and shove him down against the bedding. Has he been stalking him? Did he put cameras in his bedroom or something?!]
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Being smart! Did you know!!!!! I'm super smart!!!!!!!!!
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[And he's going to be stuck there for a bit, because Chuuya's going to pin him to the bed. He is so very, very tempted to throttle the man, but roughly shoving him will have to do for now.]
Did you fucking stalk me, you bastard?!
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(chuuya. this is a terrible place to be right now. not with how he might feel a twitch when dazai attempts to free himself from the grip.)
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[Well that's a relief, at least. If Chuuya gets home alive, he'll be able to rest easy in knowing there aren't cameras in his walls, probably. He is very much not amused by Dazai's gleeful crowing however, his face still carrying lingering redness.
Which only deepens once more when he feels that twitch right beneath him. He shifts, a baffled look on his face.]
What-- are you--
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(a reaction to the whole shifting. please, chuuya, he's super high. with the whole hand thing being true, he feels so good about his brain!
and chuuya just shoved him on bed and sat on his hips.)
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[The realization makes Chuuya feel like Dazai just set him on fire, hands releasing dazai so he can start to slide back and away from the other's crotch-- which probably doesn't help either of them, because now Chuuya's dick is starting to get Interested, twitching in his pants and making him curse hoarsely, expression twisting in mortification.]
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(none. he has absolutely none!! dazai's the one who should be mortified, grossed out, and making that face! but not chuuya!
wait, is he really? or is it because dazai's seeing things? there's a moment dazai takes to sit up, and... poke. he just pokes.)
Or am I seeing things...
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cw suicide and depression
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DUBCON.... KINDA...
itt: unresolved tension and questionable excuses to fuck
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