[Not a very convincing rebuttal, when the strain of trying not to thrust up into the pressure on his dick is evident in his voice, tight and pitched, breath coming short and fast.
What Chuuya can do, though, is curl his fingers around Dazai's jaw, pressing his thumb against the underside.]
Am I? What kind of satisfaction would you get if I just played with your hand? It's not going to solve your current situation, is it? You should be glad I put small printing in there!
(it's hard to talk with that pressure on his sharp jaw, but with how fast he's speaking, it takes virtually no time before he's back to sucking on chuuya's index finger like his life depended on it.
he can't feel the twitching, the pressure, but what he can do is push chuuya's hand against himself harder, keeping a pace that is faster than what he's been employing, synched to his hand.)
And this has nothing to do with you wanting to win, huh?
[Dazai sucking on his finger might get him a bit more than he bargained for-- Chuuya's finger sliding deeper, pressing down against his tongue. It's clear he'd love to be doing this with another appendage entirely, but fucking Dazai's mouth with his finger is good, too.
Until Dazai pulls back and says that.]
You--
[High. Dazai is high, he doesn't mean what he says. But that declaration is not helping how aroused Chuuya is right now, the hot flush of his cheeks, or the way his hips jerk sharply up into his own hand.]
Come on, Chuuya. I won't do anything else before you let me.
(that means he won't kiss, he won't touch, he won't grind, nothing. chuuya knows that dazai won't back down from negotiations, never lie about them, so he's only at a word's notice from taking chuuya as his own.
he doesn't even mind how the finger is exploring now, because he takes the middle one into his mouth, too.)
[Chuuya makes a noise of heated frustration, because he knows Dazai isn't about to back down, no matter how horny they both are. Asking, though? That feels like losing.
So instead he thrusts his fingers deeper into Dazai's mouth, vexation evident in the rough movements. The mental image of Dazai choking on his cock is so damn alluring that he is absolutely sure if they stop now he'll end up jerking off to it anyway, as much as it pisses him off.]
(the way the fingers leave his mouth with a pop, and forcefully, he slams the bare hands against their, ugh, mattress. he knows chuuya can free himself very, very easily, but also, why would he? after all this anticipation, all this teasing, the tension since they've arrived, it's with such unspeakable hunger that his lips meet the other's, a kiss as intense as them, in a way that it makes his own head spin.
everything he's ever wanted to do, he'll do. bless drugs, really, is the thought he has as his hips grind against the other's, replacing a bit of the friction chuuya's hand's absence left behind.)
[Chuuya doesn't have drugs as an excuse, but if asked later, he'll put it down to being horny and Dazai being persistent. It doesn't have to mean anything, even if it clearly does from the way Chuuya meets Dazai's lips with his, as if intent on devouring Dazai, lips and teeth working in tandem. His hands may be pinned, but Chuuya's never been passive-- He arches up, hips meeting Dazai's own in a rough grind, a silent demand for more contact.
He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought of this, at times. They'd both been teenagers when they first met, hormones running wild. But desire was a mess when the person in question also infuriated you beyond measure.
Not that Chuuya looked any less a mess now, face flushed and chest heaving.]
(it doesn't mean anything, not really, except it means way too much, and dazai isn't ready to say it out loud. it feels ridiculous, to feel so energized by such loathed touch, to feel at home when he hates it, but doesn't, he doesn't, really. it's almost like it's happened before, and before, and before, with how their lips are in synch, with how one hand releases chuuya to bring him closer to his hips with a forceful pull at the very moment he grinds.
almost like they're bonded to their very souls. this is not what his high mind wants to be thinking, however, so he'll turn to pay much more attention to how his hand is so skillfully removing all pieces of clothing that won't rely on them separating to get rid of, lips descending almost too roughly until they reach the other's hipbone... and bite.)
[It means far too much, and talking about such things has never been their Thing. Their way of communicating with actions rather than words was a boon on the battlefield, and right now? It felt almost too perfect, how Dazai's hands felt on him. It didn't feel awkward at all, as if Dazai knew how to navigate every inch of him already, exactly how to remove his clothes without parting more than necessary.
Every shift of their bodies, every press of their lips, as if it was something both long coming and something they've done many times before. It's infuriating, maddening, and all of that knowing only adds fuel to the fire stoked between them.
Chuuya can't touch, but it won't stop him from teasing. Excellent control of his body means even as Dazai trails his kisses lower, Dazai has to deal with Chuuya's legs-- a thigh pressed firmly against his erection, a knee trailing along his stomach, a calf along the inside of Dazai's thigh. All of these at different points, Chuuya's breath quickening the lower Dazai falls even as he watches, lust-dark eyes intense as he takes the sight of Dazai in.
And then Dazai is sinking his teeth into his hip, sharp-burning pleasure, and Chuuya is crying out, loud enough that there is definitely going to be some issues with neighbors potentially hearing. Probably, it's no surprise to Dazai that Chuuya is as fond of roughness in the bedroom as he is in fights.]
(those damn legs. saviors in their own right, hardworking, ever present in his life, and yet, this is the first time he gets to touch them - to thank them, quietly, in his own way, for all they've endured for him. for them. for everything they've ever stood for. they move against him, alluring, and he can't keep his hands away from them, gripping in ways that most likely will leave marks, even over the fabric of chuuya's pants -- which don't stay too long in place, they can't, they won't.
not with that cry. ah, it's a shit idea not to shut chuuya up, not with how loud dazai knows he can be, and he proves to be even here. it calls his attention, and after his hands leave the other man bare on their bed, he takes a moment to look, really look at the man whose skin he can't stop kissing.
and he smiles.)
You know. I could look at you all day if you kept looking at me like that. You look beautiful, Chuuya.
(and he will file this under I Was Definitely Fucked Up In The Head, Look At My Excuse, even if he means each and every word that come out of his mouth. the words will only linger in the air for a second, before dazai leaves a happy giggle and sinks teeth into the delicate skin of the other's inner thigh. thank you, legs, he's thanking you by making sure he has marks all over the pale skin.
[Chuuya would be disappointed if Dazai didn't leave marks, honestly. He's left so many marks on Chuuya's life and body in different ways-- it's only fitting that he left marks like this, too. Dazai can probably feel the flex of muscles beneath his fingers, eager and reactive to his touch, strength apparent even like this as Chuuya struggles to maintain some degree of focus. He wants to see this, wants to feel this, every little thing Dazai is doing.
It's absolutely sickening, how his heart jumps in his chest at that smile. He can't catch his breath, and the words that follow aren't helping, warmth flooding already flushed cheeks and making them darken. Beautiful?
He has to remind himself Dazai is high, but that doesn't truly lessen the impact of the words, try as he might. He's grateful actually, that Dazai returns to trailing bites over his skin, a pleased hiss escaping Chuuya's throat as he arches up into the press of lips and teeth.]
And you... you're a sight right now, Dazai.
[His voice is low and appreciative, rough with need. Like the view in front of him is something he wants to etch into his memory forever.]
(as if the blush on his cheeks didn't make him even more wonderful to look at. it's not the first time he's seen it, with how pale chuuya is, and the curse of his genetics making his cheeks rosy so easily, but the fact is... dazai's said it. most likely, he won't ever say it again, like this is a secret that he let chuuya have a little glimpse of, and he'll never allow it to resurface again.
it's true, though. the muscle he's sucking on is most likely going to go through all colors once it heals, sore and a reminder for days to come, and it's not the only spot that gets that treatment. he has no idea if this will happen again, if it can, so he'll take full advantage of how much he's being allowed to touch, hands never idle as they feel and stretch the other's skin.
and ah, chuuya. words, words.)
Then you should look very closely at what I'm about to do.
(that's the only warning before all of chuuya's cock finds a home into his mouth, and he gives the other no time to adapt - chuuya is sensitive, after all, and it's with no sight of laziness that he's going for it, relentless, merciless, tongue and lip and friction.)
[It's fine if it never comes up again. This-- all of this, is only going to be once. That's how things should be between them, for both their sakes. Once was already too much, but Chuuya was too greedy to refuse.
Even if this is a terrible idea, Chuuya wants. Every mark, every word, every sound. Every second of this moment, his to keep.
Dazai tells him to watch before swallowing down his cock with zero warning, and though Chuuya's head jerks back into the pillow with a shout at the sudden pressure and heat engulfing him, he still raises his head to watch, gasping wildly as his hands claw for something to hold onto-- Dazai's hair ends up their target, fingers curling into dark curls with a tight grip.]
(and it's exactly because they're both saying that this will be once that dazai will take all he can from this. steal all the noises he can, even if that in itself is also a bad idea. things to explain, things to deny, things to lie about later. right now, that fact is so watered down by how much he wants it.
even his name coming out of chuuya's mouth feels delicious to hear, and the grip? that only makes him go further. he's gonna make chuuya climax a thousand times today, to make up for how much he secretly knows he'll want to do it, and most likely won't, later. the tighter, the louder, the more he'll speed, the deeper chuuya'll go, the more passionate and determined he'll be.
pop as he releases, that smile, perhaps smitten, perhaps high, adorning his lips before his tongue runs the shaft.)
[Chuuya had always known Dazai had an unfair mouth, a tongue too deft in a wide variety of ways that of course had to extend to the bedroom. Of fucking course. It's infuriating how good it feels, and the tight grip on Dazai's hair is just as much about having something for him to grip onto as a way to keep Dazai there.
But even that intense desire to fuck Dazai's mouth isn't quite enough to stamp out the irrational desire he feels to kiss those smiling lips, the look on Dazai's face making warmth thrum in his chest. A desire he ignores for now, because it would be too telling, so instead one leg tucks itself over Dazai's shoulder to drag him closer, heel at the middle of his back urging him on.]
How am I not surprised you're annoyingly good at sucking dick?
(chuuya and his damn legs. one of his hands, while the other busies itself with stroking as his head turns to kiss the thigh, runs across the pale skin, leaving scratch marks on their path. the words do draw a laugh from him, a nibble to the skin of chuuya's leg and a gentle pull.)
Maybe because you thought about it before.
(there's no need to pretend he hadn't. they're not here for a lack of option - they're here because they have years upon years of unsolved feelings, tension, need, and it's such a wild concept to think chuuya of all people wouldn't understand what dazai just meant. their minds are awfully intertwined, after all.
he's quite enjoying giving chuuya absolutely no hints of what he's about to do, though. his lips return to his previous task, perhaps even more ferociously than before. with how much work he's putting into it, he's surprised how chuuya's holding up.)
You can come whenever you like, by the way. It's not going to be the last time you do today, so you can just enjoy yourself.
[The way the muscle of his thigh jumps beneath the drag of those fingernails is telling, the hitch in Chuuya's breath between his next words even more telling still.]
You always did have quite the smart mouth on yha, it doesn't take that much imagination to guess where else that could apply.
[It's not a denial, because there's little point in it: there's too much between them to pretend that there weren't dirty teenage fantasies at one point or another. Chuuya could put it down to hormones back then, but he always knew it went deeper than that.
Fingers curl in dazai's hair when those lips return to his cock, nails scratching against his scalp to urge him on, and Chuuya tries-- tries to focus on Dazai's words rather than the heat of his mouth. There's no way he's going to last much longer, but the defiant streak in him makes him want to try. His voice is rough, too tight as he tries to focus enough to keep talking.]
That sure sounds like you've got plans for me. Care to clue me in?
Where is this any smart? I like you in my mouth, that's not at all smart.
(drugs are great. look at him, admitting that he's enjoying feeling the skin against his tongue, tasting it, and seeing how far he can go. it's not like the words were needed in anyway, he looks like he's thoroughly appreciating the opportunity, seizing each and every moan, gasp, pull, and each of them are rewarded with a tighter, stronger suck, a deeper push, a flick of tongue... none go ignored, after all.)
[I like you in my mouth. Dazai's words really are not helping Chuuya keep himself from tumbling over the edge, and from the grip he has on Dazai right now, it's terribly obvious how very close he is. He's gasping for breath between each suck, dizzy, and when was the last time he'd done this? Did it even matter, when Dazai was this good with his mouth, when his hips arch up into that welcoming heat so perfectly wrapped around him?
Dazai's declaration seems to be well on it's way to self-fulfilling, because just that--the intent behind it, the promise--seems to be what sends Chuuya hurtling into orgasm, leg tightening around Dazai like a vice, hips jerking as he comes hard, voice rising in a broken yell.]
Dazai!!
[It's too much, too perfect. Chuuya trembles through his orgasm, grip on Dazai slowly going lax but never releasing him fully. Greedy, terribly greedy.]
(it's funny. he's never done this with chuuya, not outside of his imagination, at least, and yet, he knows exactly how much weight his words held, how much chuuya is holding on for pride, and how close he is. he can hear it in each and every breath, each and every gasp, twitch, grip, and he's more and more motivated to keep going, to make chuuya so dizzy that he won't have time to breathe once dazai's swallowing him. one of the legs gets a grip, as strong as his hand can manage, as his tongue makes sure the other's skin is clean. ah, his name, like that?
he never backs down on a promise, and it's not like chuuya's the only greedy one. once he's distant from the other's hips, his hands move to encourage chuuya's legs to wrap around him, and he kisses the man breathlessly.
a sweet reminder of what he had been doing lately.)
[And that's the thing, isn't it? Dazai knows Chuuya. He knows what makes Chuuya tick, knows just where to touch, what to say. That alone makes this miles different from how Chuuya usually has sex, anonymous hookups after a few drinks, certainly pleasurable but nothing serious. To even pretend this means nothing would be impossible, all things told, because the sheer intimacy of being known is wound in every touch, every word.
Chuuya shudders through the aftershocks of his orgasm, every lap of Dazai's tongue dragging the pleasure out a few seconds longer until something close to a whine escapes him, too sensitive by far. But then Dazai is sliding up and his lips are pressed to Chuuya's, and Chuuya wraps his arms around him to pull him closer, mouth moving against Dazai, any further noises muffled between. He tastes his cum on Dazai's lips, on his tongue, and it doesn't help the dizziness fuzzing up his head, too little oxygen and too much want.]
(that's exactly what makes it so special. insane as it is, he almost feels regret that his bandages separate them, not being able to feel skin everywhere he touches, and it's a shame he's not nearly as ready to let them go, as much as it feels enticing. instead, however, it means his hands and hips get to touch, to feel in lieu of the rest of his body, which is why they can't stay still, they roam, they squeeze, they scratch, from thigh to waist, and when it's back to the hipbone he left his mark, it's a grip so hard his fingertips will purple it too.
the noises, the voice, the name he had called, the way his arms wrap tight like he too doesn't want to let it go makes dazai smile against the pair of lips. he distances, only for a second, to look. his fingers move some of the strands on chuuya's face, and he can't control his face with how much he's beaming. if he thought chuuya looked beautiful before, he's a masterpiece now, panting, dazzled, and having his name now moaned from those lips.
fuck drugs. he will hate that they're having him say it.)
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[Not a very convincing rebuttal, when the strain of trying not to thrust up into the pressure on his dick is evident in his voice, tight and pitched, breath coming short and fast.
What Chuuya can do, though, is curl his fingers around Dazai's jaw, pressing his thumb against the underside.]
The letter but not the spirit, huh?
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(it's hard to talk with that pressure on his sharp jaw, but with how fast he's speaking, it takes virtually no time before he's back to sucking on chuuya's index finger like his life depended on it.
he can't feel the twitching, the pressure, but what he can do is push chuuya's hand against himself harder, keeping a pace that is faster than what he's been employing, synched to his hand.)
Give up, Chuuya. I want this, too.
(SELFISH ASSHOLE.)
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[Dazai sucking on his finger might get him a bit more than he bargained for-- Chuuya's finger sliding deeper, pressing down against his tongue. It's clear he'd love to be doing this with another appendage entirely, but fucking Dazai's mouth with his finger is good, too.
Until Dazai pulls back and says that.]
You--
[High. Dazai is high, he doesn't mean what he says. But that declaration is not helping how aroused Chuuya is right now, the hot flush of his cheeks, or the way his hips jerk sharply up into his own hand.]
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(that means he won't kiss, he won't touch, he won't grind, nothing. chuuya knows that dazai won't back down from negotiations, never lie about them, so he's only at a word's notice from taking chuuya as his own.
he doesn't even mind how the finger is exploring now, because he takes the middle one into his mouth, too.)
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So instead he thrusts his fingers deeper into Dazai's mouth, vexation evident in the rough movements. The mental image of Dazai choking on his cock is so damn alluring that he is absolutely sure if they stop now he'll end up jerking off to it anyway, as much as it pisses him off.]
This is a stalemate, do you hear me?
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(the way the fingers leave his mouth with a pop, and forcefully, he slams the bare hands against their, ugh, mattress. he knows chuuya can free himself very, very easily, but also, why would he? after all this anticipation, all this teasing, the tension since they've arrived, it's with such unspeakable hunger that his lips meet the other's, a kiss as intense as them, in a way that it makes his own head spin.
everything he's ever wanted to do, he'll do. bless drugs, really, is the thought he has as his hips grind against the other's, replacing a bit of the friction chuuya's hand's absence left behind.)
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He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought of this, at times. They'd both been teenagers when they first met, hormones running wild. But desire was a mess when the person in question also infuriated you beyond measure.
Not that Chuuya looked any less a mess now, face flushed and chest heaving.]
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almost like they're bonded to their very souls. this is not what his high mind wants to be thinking, however, so he'll turn to pay much more attention to how his hand is so skillfully removing all pieces of clothing that won't rely on them separating to get rid of, lips descending almost too roughly until they reach the other's hipbone... and bite.)
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Every shift of their bodies, every press of their lips, as if it was something both long coming and something they've done many times before. It's infuriating, maddening, and all of that knowing only adds fuel to the fire stoked between them.
Chuuya can't touch, but it won't stop him from teasing. Excellent control of his body means even as Dazai trails his kisses lower, Dazai has to deal with Chuuya's legs-- a thigh pressed firmly against his erection, a knee trailing along his stomach, a calf along the inside of Dazai's thigh. All of these at different points, Chuuya's breath quickening the lower Dazai falls even as he watches, lust-dark eyes intense as he takes the sight of Dazai in.
And then Dazai is sinking his teeth into his hip, sharp-burning pleasure, and Chuuya is crying out, loud enough that there is definitely going to be some issues with neighbors potentially hearing. Probably, it's no surprise to Dazai that Chuuya is as fond of roughness in the bedroom as he is in fights.]
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not with that cry. ah, it's a shit idea not to shut chuuya up, not with how loud dazai knows he can be, and he proves to be even here. it calls his attention, and after his hands leave the other man bare on their bed, he takes a moment to look, really look at the man whose skin he can't stop kissing.
and he smiles.)
You know. I could look at you all day if you kept looking at me like that. You look beautiful, Chuuya.
(and he will file this under I Was Definitely Fucked Up In The Head, Look At My Excuse, even if he means each and every word that come out of his mouth. the words will only linger in the air for a second, before dazai leaves a happy giggle and sinks teeth into the delicate skin of the other's inner thigh. thank you, legs, he's thanking you by making sure he has marks all over the pale skin.
like a note of gratitude with teeth and tongue.)
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It's absolutely sickening, how his heart jumps in his chest at that smile. He can't catch his breath, and the words that follow aren't helping, warmth flooding already flushed cheeks and making them darken. Beautiful?
He has to remind himself Dazai is high, but that doesn't truly lessen the impact of the words, try as he might. He's grateful actually, that Dazai returns to trailing bites over his skin, a pleased hiss escaping Chuuya's throat as he arches up into the press of lips and teeth.]
And you... you're a sight right now, Dazai.
[His voice is low and appreciative, rough with need. Like the view in front of him is something he wants to etch into his memory forever.]
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it's true, though. the muscle he's sucking on is most likely going to go through all colors once it heals, sore and a reminder for days to come, and it's not the only spot that gets that treatment. he has no idea if this will happen again, if it can, so he'll take full advantage of how much he's being allowed to touch, hands never idle as they feel and stretch the other's skin.
and ah, chuuya. words, words.)
Then you should look very closely at what I'm about to do.
(that's the only warning before all of chuuya's cock finds a home into his mouth, and he gives the other no time to adapt - chuuya is sensitive, after all, and it's with no sight of laziness that he's going for it, relentless, merciless, tongue and lip and friction.)
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Even if this is a terrible idea, Chuuya wants. Every mark, every word, every sound. Every second of this moment, his to keep.
Dazai tells him to watch before swallowing down his cock with zero warning, and though Chuuya's head jerks back into the pillow with a shout at the sudden pressure and heat engulfing him, he still raises his head to watch, gasping wildly as his hands claw for something to hold onto-- Dazai's hair ends up their target, fingers curling into dark curls with a tight grip.]
Fuck!!! Dazai--
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even his name coming out of chuuya's mouth feels delicious to hear, and the grip? that only makes him go further. he's gonna make chuuya climax a thousand times today, to make up for how much he secretly knows he'll want to do it, and most likely won't, later. the tighter, the louder, the more he'll speed, the deeper chuuya'll go, the more passionate and determined he'll be.
pop as he releases, that smile, perhaps smitten, perhaps high, adorning his lips before his tongue runs the shaft.)
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But even that intense desire to fuck Dazai's mouth isn't quite enough to stamp out the irrational desire he feels to kiss those smiling lips, the look on Dazai's face making warmth thrum in his chest. A desire he ignores for now, because it would be too telling, so instead one leg tucks itself over Dazai's shoulder to drag him closer, heel at the middle of his back urging him on.]
How am I not surprised you're annoyingly good at sucking dick?
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Maybe because you thought about it before.
(there's no need to pretend he hadn't. they're not here for a lack of option - they're here because they have years upon years of unsolved feelings, tension, need, and it's such a wild concept to think chuuya of all people wouldn't understand what dazai just meant. their minds are awfully intertwined, after all.
he's quite enjoying giving chuuya absolutely no hints of what he's about to do, though. his lips return to his previous task, perhaps even more ferociously than before. with how much work he's putting into it, he's surprised how chuuya's holding up.)
You can come whenever you like, by the way. It's not going to be the last time you do today, so you can just enjoy yourself.
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You always did have quite the smart mouth on yha, it doesn't take that much imagination to guess where else that could apply.
[It's not a denial, because there's little point in it: there's too much between them to pretend that there weren't dirty teenage fantasies at one point or another. Chuuya could put it down to hormones back then, but he always knew it went deeper than that.
Fingers curl in dazai's hair when those lips return to his cock, nails scratching against his scalp to urge him on, and Chuuya tries-- tries to focus on Dazai's words rather than the heat of his mouth. There's no way he's going to last much longer, but the defiant streak in him makes him want to try. His voice is rough, too tight as he tries to focus enough to keep talking.]
That sure sounds like you've got plans for me. Care to clue me in?
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(drugs are great. look at him, admitting that he's enjoying feeling the skin against his tongue, tasting it, and seeing how far he can go. it's not like the words were needed in anyway, he looks like he's thoroughly appreciating the opportunity, seizing each and every moan, gasp, pull, and each of them are rewarded with a tighter, stronger suck, a deeper push, a flick of tongue... none go ignored, after all.)
I'm going to ruin you, that's the plan.
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Dazai's declaration seems to be well on it's way to self-fulfilling, because just that--the intent behind it, the promise--seems to be what sends Chuuya hurtling into orgasm, leg tightening around Dazai like a vice, hips jerking as he comes hard, voice rising in a broken yell.]
Dazai!!
[It's too much, too perfect. Chuuya trembles through his orgasm, grip on Dazai slowly going lax but never releasing him fully. Greedy, terribly greedy.]
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he never backs down on a promise, and it's not like chuuya's the only greedy one. once he's distant from the other's hips, his hands move to encourage chuuya's legs to wrap around him, and he kisses the man breathlessly.
a sweet reminder of what he had been doing lately.)
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Chuuya shudders through the aftershocks of his orgasm, every lap of Dazai's tongue dragging the pleasure out a few seconds longer until something close to a whine escapes him, too sensitive by far. But then Dazai is sliding up and his lips are pressed to Chuuya's, and Chuuya wraps his arms around him to pull him closer, mouth moving against Dazai, any further noises muffled between. He tastes his cum on Dazai's lips, on his tongue, and it doesn't help the dizziness fuzzing up his head, too little oxygen and too much want.]
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the noises, the voice, the name he had called, the way his arms wrap tight like he too doesn't want to let it go makes dazai smile against the pair of lips. he distances, only for a second, to look. his fingers move some of the strands on chuuya's face, and he can't control his face with how much he's beaming. if he thought chuuya looked beautiful before, he's a masterpiece now, panting, dazzled, and having his name now moaned from those lips.
fuck drugs. he will hate that they're having him say it.)
I think you're going to ruin me, too.