[And he's going to be stuck there for a bit, because Chuuya's going to pin him to the bed. He is so very, very tempted to throttle the man, but roughly shoving him will have to do for now.]
Nope! I never saw it myself! It was a theory! And! I am always right! You're so red! Tiny, red, cute Chuuya! Give me your hand! I wanna see if your face blends with your hair!
(chuuya. this is a terrible place to be right now. not with how he might feel a twitch when dazai attempts to free himself from the grip.)
Like hell I am, you're just gonna do something weird!
[Well that's a relief, at least. If Chuuya gets home alive, he'll be able to rest easy in knowing there aren't cameras in his walls, probably. He is very much not amused by Dazai's gleeful crowing however, his face still carrying lingering redness.
Which only deepens once more when he feels that twitch right beneath him. He shifts, a baffled look on his face.]
[The realization makes Chuuya feel like Dazai just set him on fire, hands releasing dazai so he can start to slide back and away from the other's crotch-- which probably doesn't help either of them, because now Chuuya's dick is starting to get Interested, twitching in his pants and making him curse hoarsely, expression twisting in mortification.]
[As always, Chuuya's volume control is broken, but he does in fact manage to roll off of Dazai and to the other side of the bed, grimacing. Fuck this is mortifying.]
Your loss on all accounts. I'm gonna go out then! Enjoy being alone, hard, and sober!
(how energetic he has become, jumping off and looking for his shoes, his coat, his tie, does he have enough bandages? should he unroll a little on the neck? ah, scandalous.)
[His voice cracks at the end, because chuuya is in fact miserable, both from the fact that he's turned on and that it was Dazai of all people who did it. He knows it's been awhile since he had sex, but still!!]
And one less, damn it!!
[Because if Dazai drank another drugged coffee he might actually terrorize the entire town. Or overdose. either/or.]
(why is this so ridiculously funny. why. his laughter echoes the room, to the point he has to bend with his arms wrapped around his stomach, tears pooling on the corners of dazai's eyes.)
Chuuya, I can get you done with just your hand! I know your secret now ♡ You wouldn't be able to keep up with me! La~la~la~♡
(ah, man, putting shoes on bothersome. much like the poor teacup, so goes it over his shoulder, slamming against the window and bouncing off. no shattering this time.
dazai's boney fingers undo one of the rolls on his neck, but oh, yes. there's a scar there. back up he goes.)
Ah, I can't. I forgot! Can't, can't, can't, nope, nope, nope. I'll look difficult again. No~pe. Ugly, ugly, u-- Chuuya. Chuuya, Chuuya. Do you think they're very ugly?
(as if dazai's let chuuya see other than snippets.)
Like hell you can!!! I'd wear you out, you fucking mackerel.
[...No one's ever tried that admittedly, but Chuuya refuses to let Dazai be the first!!
But the sudden turn of Dazai's mood to something almost fretful makes Chuuya pause, shifting up to sit gingerly. He's ignoring his dick for a moment, okay.]
No, why would I? They're just part who you are.
[Chuuya's got Strong opinions on scars, and they're all fairly positive ones. They were a map of who you were, your identity and triumphs. 'This did not kill me' emblazed on your flesh.]
(he doesn't mean it in a sad way, nor to drag down the mood. it's just how he feels. chuuya's seen dazai waste bullets out of frustration, some people die so easy, and in so long trying, dazai's only left with "this didn't kill me", to much of his despair.
after a slow spin, he'll drop on the bed next to chuuya, his chin on the man's shoulder, an open hand offered for chuuya to give him his own.)
[Chuuya knows there's a part of Dazai-- a very quiet part, that still wants to find something to live for. Dazai's scars were from a different kind of battle than Chuuya's, but they were marks of victory nonetheless... even if Dazai himself couldn't bring himself to view it that way.
Still, he's not going to push that topic anymore than what he's already said. He's still jittery and flustered, still half-hard, and now Dazai is coming back over like this is a totally good idea right now.
...And saying that. He knows Chuuya's weak to challenges, damn it! And oh, the things he could make Dazai do if he won--]
You're high as fuck, Dazai. You're gonna regret the hell out of this later if I take you up on that.
(unfortunately, he'd like to say. there's nobody who has seen how deep it runs, how corrosive and rotten his brain can get. who had to keep him from walking on a rain of bullets? dazai would have thanked them, if chuuya didn't pull him the moment he saw dazai's foot think of moving forward.
some days, it's better. he feels glad he can walk this earth, only for that to be taken away from him shortly after.
the hand goes ahead to wrap around the bare wrist.)
[Chuuya would always pull him back from the brink-- he would always see those signs, know when Dazai was going places in his mind that meant no good. As long as Dazai was within reach, Chuuya would pull him back every single time.
He couldn't not, after all. Not that he'd ever acknowledge that, never aloud.
But that is then, and this is now. Right now, Dazai's hand is wrapping around his wrist, and he hates how much his mind focuses on the sensation, the warmth and feel of his fingers. Hates how natural it feels. He knows why, of course, but--
Chuuya swallows tightly, trying to focus on Dazai's words and not the pavlovian effect his grip tended to have.]
(dazai's a coward. he's high, but he's still dazai, and the racing in his brain had reached a sure conclusion - if they go for it like this, he has an excuse to like it. an excuse to want it. truth be told, it's only helping him to drop his pride enough to make intentions known. he'd want it sober, too.
it's safe like this for him. the grip loosens, his palm joining the other to intertwine fingers, bringing a knuckle to lips to press a lingering kiss. then another. then another.)
[Chuuya's also a coward: He's too sober for this, but Dazai keeps touching him like that, and Chuuya's treacherous brain starts to want. Starts to wonder, even if it's an incredibly stupid idea.
Maybe he needs this. Just once. Just to get it out of his system. Between Fyodor and Dazai, he's pent up, frustrated and angry about it, angry at himself for being so affected.
Every lingering kiss to his hand feels like little cracks spreading across his self control. His breath catches, speeding up with every warm press of lips against his knuckles.
Some of that anger might show as he shifts, shoving Dazai off him only to try and switch their positions-- pinning Dazai down.] You are infuriating.
(all according to his damn plan, as usual, as it should be. it would be naive to think dazai didn't do all this with this outcome in mind - so he could do this guilt-free, gaslight it later, pretend it meant nothing, you name it! because he wants it! very much! and some of us are chickens, who cannot say that out loud, so! he gets free reign to not feel it later, because, well. look at his great excuse.
which is why he looks so damn happy once chuuya is on his hips again, using his elbows to lift himself up just a little bit.)
Show me.
itt: unresolved tension and questionable excuses to fuck
[It's not like Chuuya doesn't want it-- Dazai's been a feature in some of his fantasies since he was a teenager, much to his eternal mortification. There's something to be said for proximity and knowing someone so intimately, combined with hormones: an unfortunately potent combination. He's furious, he's horny, and it's all Dazai's fault, so he doesn't hesitate to grind down in Dazai's lap without mercy.]
But between you and Fyodor I'm going to go insane.
(this pinning situation, although asked for, is not exactly what he wanted in the first place, considering the bet. with hands out of the picture, it's not like he can have a fair trial, but you know? loophole. chuuya is not letting him.
there's a gasp that he holds in his throat at the grinding, and it's a shift motion that he turns them around, his own turn to pin, a hand on hips and cheeks to bring him a little higher, a little closer to his own.)
[Dazai can learn to be flexible, surely. Chuuya grins in triumph when Dazai makes that sound, but it doesn't last for long: Dazai's shifting and pushing, and suddenly Chuuya's trapped beneath him with hips pulled up and arching against Dazai's own with a heated gasp torn from Chuuya's throat.
His legs shift and spread, giving them both a little more area for some much desired friction, hands reaching up to grab at Dazai and pull him closer if Dazai allows it.]
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[And he's going to be stuck there for a bit, because Chuuya's going to pin him to the bed. He is so very, very tempted to throttle the man, but roughly shoving him will have to do for now.]
Did you fucking stalk me, you bastard?!
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(chuuya. this is a terrible place to be right now. not with how he might feel a twitch when dazai attempts to free himself from the grip.)
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[Well that's a relief, at least. If Chuuya gets home alive, he'll be able to rest easy in knowing there aren't cameras in his walls, probably. He is very much not amused by Dazai's gleeful crowing however, his face still carrying lingering redness.
Which only deepens once more when he feels that twitch right beneath him. He shifts, a baffled look on his face.]
What-- are you--
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(a reaction to the whole shifting. please, chuuya, he's super high. with the whole hand thing being true, he feels so good about his brain!
and chuuya just shoved him on bed and sat on his hips.)
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[The realization makes Chuuya feel like Dazai just set him on fire, hands releasing dazai so he can start to slide back and away from the other's crotch-- which probably doesn't help either of them, because now Chuuya's dick is starting to get Interested, twitching in his pants and making him curse hoarsely, expression twisting in mortification.]
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(none. he has absolutely none!! dazai's the one who should be mortified, grossed out, and making that face! but not chuuya!
wait, is he really? or is it because dazai's seeing things? there's a moment dazai takes to sit up, and... poke. he just pokes.)
Or am I seeing things...
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Oh, that's a interesting choking, high pitched noise Chuuya just made as he jerks above him, his dick perking up more for the attention.]
Dazai!!!
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(as if, with how chuuya reacts, but dazai's hands come to show their palms, away from the small body.)
Or we can go for it and blame it on the drugs! Drink coffee with me! Drugs!!!
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[As always, Chuuya's volume control is broken, but he does in fact manage to roll off of Dazai and to the other side of the bed, grimacing. Fuck this is mortifying.]
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(how energetic he has become, jumping off and looking for his shoes, his coat, his tie, does he have enough bandages? should he unroll a little on the neck? ah, scandalous.)
Chuuya, one more or one less?!
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[His voice cracks at the end, because chuuya is in fact miserable, both from the fact that he's turned on and that it was Dazai of all people who did it. He knows it's been awhile since he had sex, but still!!]
And one less, damn it!!
[Because if Dazai drank another drugged coffee he might actually terrorize the entire town. Or overdose. either/or.]
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(why is this so ridiculously funny. why. his laughter echoes the room, to the point he has to bend with his arms wrapped around his stomach, tears pooling on the corners of dazai's eyes.)
But then I'll look... Too easy!!!!
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[He is trying very hard to make his dick calm the fuck down, thank you!]
I'm guessing you're not talking about coffee, but regardless: aren't you always easy? They always say, be true to yourself.
[Yes he's irritated.]
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(ah, man, putting shoes on bothersome. much like the poor teacup, so goes it over his shoulder, slamming against the window and bouncing off. no shattering this time.
dazai's boney fingers undo one of the rolls on his neck, but oh, yes. there's a scar there. back up he goes.)
Ah, I can't. I forgot! Can't, can't, can't, nope, nope, nope. I'll look difficult again. No~pe. Ugly, ugly, u-- Chuuya. Chuuya, Chuuya. Do you think they're very ugly?
(as if dazai's let chuuya see other than snippets.)
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[...No one's ever tried that admittedly, but Chuuya refuses to let Dazai be the first!!
But the sudden turn of Dazai's mood to something almost fretful makes Chuuya pause, shifting up to sit gingerly. He's ignoring his dick for a moment, okay.]
No, why would I? They're just part who you are.
[Chuuya's got Strong opinions on scars, and they're all fairly positive ones. They were a map of who you were, your identity and triumphs. 'This did not kill me' emblazed on your flesh.]
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(he doesn't mean it in a sad way, nor to drag down the mood. it's just how he feels. chuuya's seen dazai waste bullets out of frustration, some people die so easy, and in so long trying, dazai's only left with "this didn't kill me", to much of his despair.
after a slow spin, he'll drop on the bed next to chuuya, his chin on the man's shoulder, an open hand offered for chuuya to give him his own.)
If I can't, I'll be your dog for a week.
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[Chuuya knows there's a part of Dazai-- a very quiet part, that still wants to find something to live for. Dazai's scars were from a different kind of battle than Chuuya's, but they were marks of victory nonetheless... even if Dazai himself couldn't bring himself to view it that way.
Still, he's not going to push that topic anymore than what he's already said. He's still jittery and flustered, still half-hard, and now Dazai is coming back over like this is a totally good idea right now.
...And saying that. He knows Chuuya's weak to challenges, damn it! And oh, the things he could make Dazai do if he won--]
You're high as fuck, Dazai. You're gonna regret the hell out of this later if I take you up on that.
[It's not a 'no', but it's also a warning.]
cw suicide and depression
some days, it's better. he feels glad he can walk this earth, only for that to be taken away from him shortly after.
the hand goes ahead to wrap around the bare wrist.)
Chuuya, now or never.
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He couldn't not, after all. Not that he'd ever acknowledge that, never aloud.
But that is then, and this is now. Right now, Dazai's hand is wrapping around his wrist, and he hates how much his mind focuses on the sensation, the warmth and feel of his fingers. Hates how natural it feels. He knows why, of course, but--
Chuuya swallows tightly, trying to focus on Dazai's words and not the pavlovian effect his grip tended to have.]
Is that what you want?
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it's safe like this for him. the grip loosens, his palm joining the other to intertwine fingers, bringing a knuckle to lips to press a lingering kiss. then another. then another.)
Do I look like I don't? Pin me again.
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Maybe he needs this. Just once. Just to get it out of his system. Between Fyodor and Dazai, he's pent up, frustrated and angry about it, angry at himself for being so affected.
Every lingering kiss to his hand feels like little cracks spreading across his self control. His breath catches, speeding up with every warm press of lips against his knuckles.
Some of that anger might show as he shifts, shoving Dazai off him only to try and switch their positions-- pinning Dazai down.] You are infuriating.
DUBCON.... KINDA...
which is why he looks so damn happy once chuuya is on his hips again, using his elbows to lift himself up just a little bit.)
Show me.
itt: unresolved tension and questionable excuses to fuck
[It's not like Chuuya doesn't want it-- Dazai's been a feature in some of his fantasies since he was a teenager, much to his eternal mortification. There's something to be said for proximity and knowing someone so intimately, combined with hormones: an unfortunately potent combination. He's furious, he's horny, and it's all Dazai's fault, so he doesn't hesitate to grind down in Dazai's lap without mercy.]
But between you and Fyodor I'm going to go insane.
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(this pinning situation, although asked for, is not exactly what he wanted in the first place, considering the bet. with hands out of the picture, it's not like he can have a fair trial, but you know? loophole. chuuya is not letting him.
there's a gasp that he holds in his throat at the grinding, and it's a shift motion that he turns them around, his own turn to pin, a hand on hips and cheeks to bring him a little higher, a little closer to his own.)
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His legs shift and spread, giving them both a little more area for some much desired friction, hands reaching up to grab at Dazai and pull him closer if Dazai allows it.]
Fuck.
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