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[darkdisgrace]

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[nullificates]

... Chuuya. Gross. If you want to sleep with me, you should just say it, not threaten me with a good time.

(but honestly, the words come after he almost chokes on his poor booze.)

[darkdisgrace]

[and now Chuuya is choking on his wine, having inhaled it down the wrong tube at Dazai's exclamation. It takes him a fair few seconds of wheezing to regain his breath, but when he does--]

You-- What the fuck Dazai!!!

[The words are rasped, sputtered, his face red and eyes wide in mortified horror.]

I was talking about wringing your neck, not fucking you!

[nullificates]

I told you I was sensitive and this is what you gave me!! It's what you said!!

(dazai's even hiding his face on his hands, what the actual fuck, chuuya.)

I'm the one who should be saying 'what the fuck'!!

[darkdisgrace]

I thought you meant out of shape or half-starved or some shit!!

[He's kicking Dazai in the shin just for that. The bartender here is probably going to hate them, eventually.]

Ugh! Gross!!

[nullificates]

CHUUYA. Chuuya!!! Don't punish me for your desires!!

(ouch, ouch. he's kicking him too, taking the hat and running. goodbye.)

[darkdisgrace]

[D A Z A I.]

My only desire is to kick your ass!! Give that back!!

[And off they go! Wine bottle still in hand, in Chuuya's case.

It won't stop him from aiming a flying kick at the back of Dazai's head though.]

[nullificates]

Make me!!

(at least with the time, it's pretty empty. it allows him to dodge, knowing what was coming... and jump on top of a table. get him.)

[darkdisgrace]

[Really, someone needs to feel bad for this poor bartender, because neither of these two have the braincells to do so right now.

Because even though Dazai dodges and jumps on the table, Chuuya is still a crazy bastard who tries to pounce on Dazai on the table.]

Got you! Now give it back!

[nullificates]

(oh, he'll never feel sorry. he's gonna be dropping so much money here, that he deserves to be a bitch sometimes.

but he'll allow the pouncing, laughing as chuuya pins him. the hat is still not going back.)

Nope.

[darkdisgrace]

[Dazai better bribe really well, after causing havoc week one. Chuuya growls and reaches for the hat, straddling Dazai and shoving him down harsher against the table in hopes of keeping him in place.]

Give. It. Back. I'm not playing keep-away with you, bastard!

[nullificates]

Absolutely not!

(CHUUYA. HE'S. DELICATE. 9 MONTHS ARRESTED!! NINE MONTHS!!!!! he's looking at the other with large eyes, but the hat doesn't return to the other's head.)

Get off of me.

[darkdisgrace]

Not until you give me my hat back, bastard!!

[Dazai really did not think this through: Chuuya is tired, brain foggy with interrupted sleep and now wine. All he wants is his hat back, and maybe to make Dazai pay for messing with him.

So he just grabs Dazai by the collar with one hand, shoving him harder down against the table while reaching for his hat. Damn long limbed bastard--]

[nullificates]

Chuuya, off of me, or I'm gonna kiss you on the mouth. I'm going to count until three.

(WHAT A GREAT TACTIC, even if it's hurting a lot to be slammed. he's sweating a little bit, but probably a sleepy chuuya can't tell, right?)

One. Two.

[darkdisgrace]

You're gonna what???

[Dazai seriously giving a tipsy and exhausted person three seconds for anything is cheating.]

Just give it back, bastard!

[nullificates]

(he's sitting up a little bit, just to show he's Very Serious. when did dazai ever claim to be fair.)

I'm counting again, because I'm not an asshole! One, two...

[darkdisgrace]

[And Chuuya narrows his eyes. He's quite certain with how grossed out Dazai had acted there was no way the man would go through with it. It's an empty threat at best.]

You wouldn't dare. You're just trying to wriggle out of giving my hat back, bastard.

[Which is why he's going to try to snatch it back again.]

[nullificates]

I wouldn't? Are you sure?

(the attempt makes him inch closer, with how distracted chuuya is with taking the hat. he stops, however, close enough, still using his long arm stretched to keep the accessory away.)

Are you going to get off or not? Last chance! Last, last, last!

[darkdisgrace]

Sure am.

[Because even if Dazai actually had the balls to go through with it just to fuck with Chuuya--

Chuuya's fist is slamming into Dazai's gut, his other hand reaching out to snatch his hat back in the same motion.

no mercy.]

[nullificates]

(OUCH. OUCH. WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS? it's a coughing fit, but he even stretches his arm further, because the desire to antagonize chuuya is bigger than the unspeakable pain.

and he does give the other a peck, before his long leg pushes chuuya forward, so he can slide under him.)

Asshole!! I warned you!! You couldn't even give me that?! Monster! Brute!

[darkdisgrace]

[DAZAI WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THIS ENDURANCE COMING FROM it's incredibly rude!! He just wants his hat back damn it!!!

That peck does get Chuuya to freeze for a moment, slowly processing that Dazai just did that. But as Dazai slips out from under him, he's going to get grabbed by the scruff of his shirt.]

What the fuck Dazai?! Ugh!! Nothing less than you deserve for that!

[nullificates]

(damn this prisioner outfit, so baggy, so easy to grab!! his long limbs are flailing, he's whining, loudly. let him go, damn it, he just wants to play!! he's drunk!!)

I warned you!! You didn't leave so many times!! You just wanted a kiss!! Let me go!!!

[darkdisgrace]

I wanted my hat damn it!!! And you still haven't given it back!!

[And thus they come to this: Chuuya sitting on the edge of the table, grabbing Dazai by his shirt collar to hold him in place as he takes a long swig out of his wine bottle as if that will erase the fact that Dazai kissed him.]

You petty bastard, I'm not leaving you alone until you do!

[nullificates]

But I don't want to give your hat back. I told you I'm sensitive, and you pin me... And then I tell you I will kiss you if you don't move... And then you are still holding me... Let me go?

(he's even batting his eyes, the hat still so far from chuuya's reach.)

[darkdisgrace]

I did all that because you took my hat.

[They have the petty stubbornness of children, the both of them. He twists his fist in Dazai's collar, tightening his grip.]

I'll let you go if you give my hat back. But I'm not letting go until you do.

[nullificates]

AAh! Ta-ta-ta-ta... No! The price is you admitting that you did this on purpose!

(he's going to just shrink his shoulders a little, and bite the wrist that keeps him in place. hard.)