I really doubt a you in any world is gonna 'want' to get married. And this ain't a manzai act, geez.
[Honestly, the banter makes it so much easier to process everything Dazai is telling him right now. It's a Lot, it's answers to questions he's had for years, and he isn't quite sure what to do with it yet. Better to let the information breathe, to let it soften and settle, to accept it is there without expectation.
But it doesn't quite snuff out the bitter edge to it all.]
(he's reminding just to twist the knife in chuuya's ribs, metaphorically, because it is easier to be disgusted than to be this open. he's not even saying much, but chuuya knows him enough to know all that it entails.)
... Yes.
(the fact he's breathing right here, right now, too.)
Disagree. A kiss you insisted on, considering I've given you exactly six chances of not being kissed. You stayed because you wanted to, is the hat really that important you'd rather be kissed by me?
(ah, the conversation is shifting, so much, so much, and it's so much easier like this - to be a pain in the ass than to lay vulnerable as he was.)
The only thing I insisted on was getting my hat back, you cretin! You're the horndog who made the choice to kiss me!
[So much easier. Vulnerability between them was both a strange and familiar sensation, to be sure. To trust each other with their lives was one thing, but there were other things that were far more difficult, especially to vocalize.]
That's fine if that's what you need to tell yourself. You lost, anyway.
(ah, he'll get punched, probably, but it's time. the night is very much a bust, he's starting to be tired, and he can continue this drinking session at home. so, it's easy to wrap an arm around chuuya's waist, one under his knees, and stand.)
[Chuuya starts to squirm pretty much immediately, but it probably says something that Chuuya actually feels lightheaded when Dazai scoops him up. He wobbles slightly, latching his arms around Dazai with a scowl as he quickly decides this is not a battle he wants to fight.]
Do not drop me. Yha owe me a ride anyway, after dragging me out here.
[It isn't the first time Dazai's had to carry Chuuya, though usually it's been after using corruption. In truth, it feels nice in a familiar way, and Chuuya doesn't mind it beyond the blow to his pride.] You're the loser, loser.
[That won't stop Chuuya from resting his head on Dazai's shoulder after a moment, tucking his face against his neck.]
(which is the biggest bullshit to ever leave dazai's lips, considering the whole everything of everything.
he's also too familiar with this - it doesn't feel too different, chuuya tucked against his neck, the familiar weight on his arms. ah, a passing thought of dropping him just because he said dazai shouldn't.)
[The scratchy feel of bandages, the warmth of another body, the sound of Dazai's voice more felt than heard this close-- It's nostalgic, in a way. Chuuya finds himself tucking closer, arms curling a bit more snugly around Dazai with a sigh and a grumble.
He's filled out a little, since they last did this. Still an unhealthy twig, but not nearly as bad. It's nice.]
You shut up first.
[Chuuya's going to very quickly end up following Dazai's demand, however-- He's exhausted, drunk, and for all he probably shouldn't, he trusts Dazai to get him back to the inn. It's all too easy to pass out in Dazai's arms, his breath growing slow and even, warm against Dazai's neck.]
(it's when he passes out that a hand comes to the back of his head, gentle, delicate, only because chuuya will not remember in his slumber. opening the door is a little harder if he wants to avoid shaking chuuya too much, it's a hilarious sight to see dazai attempt to turn a knob like that.
ugh, so much work. once chuuya is onto the bed, it's the shoes first that leave, and dazai's not considerate enough to make sure they're all nicely set where chuuya's been keeping them. they're tossed somewhere, then the hat, then the choker.)
Are you trying to compensate for something with all these accessories? How do I take this off--
(the thing that looks like dazai's own tie, but definitely is not--)
[Chuuya continues to doze through it all, which is.... honestly, a rarity. Usually no one would get anywhere near his throat when he's sleeping without some degree of alarm, but Dazai? Has always been an exception. And so the only reaction he gains is a soft sigh escaping Chuuya's lips in his sleep.
Otherwise his breathing remains deep and even, the only true tension in his form the gloved hands still clinging to Dazai stubbornly.]
(at least, unlike his own, his vest is closed by buttons. the only thing now to give chuuya a semblance of peaceful sleep are the gloves that are gripping on his clothes. he's as used to it as he isn't anymore. nothing new, but nothing he has witnessed in years.
ah, nostalgia. one finger, two fingers, three fingers, the fist is opened, and he will be so kind to remove the gloves. humanity, right? humans sleep peacefully without leather against their skin.)
[It's the removal of the gloves that get a reaction from Chuuya, interestingly enough. His breath hitches quietly in his sleep, a soft inhale, his fingers twitching at the brief touches. It's no surprise Chuuya's hand are sensitive, with how often he covered them up-- but as Dazai is peeling the second glove off, Chuuya's hand curls around his firmly, his body shifting to face Dazai.
(there goes any possibility of dazai calling it a day and sneaking into his bed, not with how chuuya's strength surpasses his own even in his sleep. he guesses he'll just die, then, in this bed.
fine, fine, he'll gaslight the living shit out of chuuya in the morning, this is fine, he does it every time, anyway. the narrative is already so laid out in his brain that it grants a shrug, a kiss to chuuya's forehead, and he gives up completely.
his limbs are long, and to be comfortable with chuuya just holding him like this, he'll bring him closer, wrapping legs and arms around the smaller figure.)
Chuuya is a very affectionate sleeper. His arms curl around Dazai almost as soon as he gives in, body shifting closer to meet Dazai as if on instinct. A soft, pleased sound escapes him as he tucks up against Dazai, finding the warmth of the crook of his neck once more, legs tangling with Dazai's own.
He might not dream like most people, but the presence of someone else while he sleeps is just as comforting to him as most humans. And it does seem like he needs the sleep, this close: the dark shadows beneath his eyes tell quite a long tale.]
(there's going to be ghostly fingers against chuuya's back, gently caresses, there's still some light in the room, and dazai's thrown off. he's not going to sleep, most likely, but that's nothing new. dazai never sleeps, in irregular, uncertain, awfully specific conditions, but he doesn't mind it. he can rest with his eyes closed, enjoying the proximity, the touch.
dear lord, he missed touch. it's going to be a good trade-off. the next morning, at least, he'll pretend to have been asleep once chuuya wakes up.)
[Chuuya's going to sleep fairly peacefully, at least. He'll remain snuggled up to Dazai pretty much the whole night, enjoying a night of unbroken sleep for the first time in ages.
And Dazai will get to touch all he likes, since Chuuya certainly won't give him much choice in the matter. Dazai might be craving touch, but Chuuya was always prone to touch, especially when his guard is down like this.
When he finally stirs, the sky is still dark-- but the sort of dark that indicates the sun isn't too far off, and Chuuya nuzzles up against Dazai with a slurred garble of noises.]
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[Honestly, the banter makes it so much easier to process everything Dazai is telling him right now. It's a Lot, it's answers to questions he's had for years, and he isn't quite sure what to do with it yet. Better to let the information breathe, to let it soften and settle, to accept it is there without expectation.
But it doesn't quite snuff out the bitter edge to it all.]
So it's all for him, huh?
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(he's reminding just to twist the knife in chuuya's ribs, metaphorically, because it is easier to be disgusted than to be this open. he's not even saying much, but chuuya knows him enough to know all that it entails.)
... Yes.
(the fact he's breathing right here, right now, too.)
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A kiss I didn't ask for! And you suck at it, by the way.
[It is so much easier to be petty like this than be open and honest, it's true.
And it's so much easier to focus on banter than on the sheer weight of that yes.]
Suppose I owe that guy some thanks, then. I got a four year break from your annoying ass.
[The unspoken truth: That Dazai is still here, still breathing, still alive is something to be thankful for, too.]
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(ah, the conversation is shifting, so much, so much, and it's so much easier like this - to be a pain in the ass than to lay vulnerable as he was.)
Right? One more gift Odasaku's given me, too!
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[So much easier. Vulnerability between them was both a strange and familiar sensation, to be sure. To trust each other with their lives was one thing, but there were other things that were far more difficult, especially to vocalize.]
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(a few slowblinks.)
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[Said in a deadpan.]
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One hand reaches out to grab Dazai by the collar again, a smile curling his lips.]
Eager for punishment, are you?
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(he's not even going to react much, just moving the cigarette away so the smoke isn't on their faces.)
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Hell no.
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(BECAUSE ONE OF US ACTUALLY WENT FORWARD.)
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Not kissing a horny bastard like you? I'm pretty sure that's smart, not cowardly.
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(ah, he'll get punched, probably, but it's time. the night is very much a bust, he's starting to be tired, and he can continue this drinking session at home. so, it's easy to wrap an arm around chuuya's waist, one under his knees, and stand.)
Come on, loser.
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[Chuuya starts to squirm pretty much immediately, but it probably says something that Chuuya actually feels lightheaded when Dazai scoops him up. He wobbles slightly, latching his arms around Dazai with a scowl as he quickly decides this is not a battle he wants to fight.]
Do not drop me. Yha owe me a ride anyway, after dragging me out here.
[It isn't the first time Dazai's had to carry Chuuya, though usually it's been after using corruption. In truth, it feels nice in a familiar way, and Chuuya doesn't mind it beyond the blow to his pride.] You're the loser, loser.
[That won't stop Chuuya from resting his head on Dazai's shoulder after a moment, tucking his face against his neck.]
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(which is the biggest bullshit to ever leave dazai's lips, considering the whole everything of everything.
he's also too familiar with this - it doesn't feel too different, chuuya tucked against his neck, the familiar weight on his arms. ah, a passing thought of dropping him just because he said dazai shouldn't.)
Shut up, coward.
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He's filled out a little, since they last did this. Still an unhealthy twig, but not nearly as bad. It's nice.]
You shut up first.
[Chuuya's going to very quickly end up following Dazai's demand, however-- He's exhausted, drunk, and for all he probably shouldn't, he trusts Dazai to get him back to the inn. It's all too easy to pass out in Dazai's arms, his breath growing slow and even, warm against Dazai's neck.]
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(it's when he passes out that a hand comes to the back of his head, gentle, delicate, only because chuuya will not remember in his slumber. opening the door is a little harder if he wants to avoid shaking chuuya too much, it's a hilarious sight to see dazai attempt to turn a knob like that.
ugh, so much work. once chuuya is onto the bed, it's the shoes first that leave, and dazai's not considerate enough to make sure they're all nicely set where chuuya's been keeping them. they're tossed somewhere, then the hat, then the choker.)
Are you trying to compensate for something with all these accessories? How do I take this off--
(the thing that looks like dazai's own tie, but definitely is not--)
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Otherwise his breathing remains deep and even, the only true tension in his form the gloved hands still clinging to Dazai stubbornly.]
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ah, nostalgia. one finger, two fingers, three fingers, the fist is opened, and he will be so kind to remove the gloves. humanity, right? humans sleep peacefully without leather against their skin.)
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He seems very disinclined to let go.]
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fine, fine, he'll gaslight the living shit out of chuuya in the morning, this is fine, he does it every time, anyway. the narrative is already so laid out in his brain that it grants a shrug, a kiss to chuuya's forehead, and he gives up completely.
his limbs are long, and to be comfortable with chuuya just holding him like this, he'll bring him closer, wrapping legs and arms around the smaller figure.)
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Chuuya is a very affectionate sleeper. His arms curl around Dazai almost as soon as he gives in, body shifting closer to meet Dazai as if on instinct. A soft, pleased sound escapes him as he tucks up against Dazai, finding the warmth of the crook of his neck once more, legs tangling with Dazai's own.
He might not dream like most people, but the presence of someone else while he sleeps is just as comforting to him as most humans. And it does seem like he needs the sleep, this close: the dark shadows beneath his eyes tell quite a long tale.]
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dear lord, he missed touch. it's going to be a good trade-off. the next morning, at least, he'll pretend to have been asleep once chuuya wakes up.)
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And Dazai will get to touch all he likes, since Chuuya certainly won't give him much choice in the matter. Dazai might be craving touch, but Chuuya was always prone to touch, especially when his guard is down like this.
When he finally stirs, the sky is still dark-- but the sort of dark that indicates the sun isn't too far off, and Chuuya nuzzles up against Dazai with a slurred garble of noises.]
Hmm...Hnn? Mnngh...
[His pillow is hard??]
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