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[darkdisgrace]

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[fatalism]

do you really need me to answer that question?

[darkdisgrace]

That mackerel is the one who made it an issue, he's been dragging me for my height since day one.

[And okay, maybe it kind of sucks to watch Dazai keep growing like some mutant beanpole while Chuuya barely gained any height.]

Doesn't stop me from kicking tons of ass.

[Chuuya has become the sort of guy most people thought twice about mocking the height of, after all.]

[fatalism]

mackerel? does he look like a fish to you?

[ ah, so it is a whole Ass Issue ]

i have no doubts as to your prowess and ability to 'kick ass' but it left me wondering whether that was the part that bothered you about your nickname.

[darkdisgrace]

Sometimes he gets this look that makes him look exactly like a dead eyed fish, so yes?

[Chuuya does not hold back his Opinions in this regard. Should he have mentioned that nickname for Dazai? Probably not, but fuck it.]

You still stuck on that? I'm not an egomaniac who'd go around calling myself a god just because I've got a strong ability, that's all.

1/??

[fatalism]

[ come again ]

2/??

[fatalism]

[ C O M E A G A I N????????????? ]

3/??

[fatalism]

[ WAIT but first ]

4/??

[fatalism]

dazai is too pretty to be a fish

5/??

[fatalism]

[ also what the ??????? ]

'strong ability'

6/6

[fatalism]

could you afford to be tender without it? to be as human as you are?

Re: 6/6

[darkdisgrace]

['too pretty to be a fish'? Holy shit.]


You both are absolutely insufferable, you know that? I'm amazed you can say that with a straight face.

[Fyodor please just fuck Dazai already, you'd be doing a community service.]

Exactly what is that supposed to mean, though? Tender? Not sure why anyone would ever call me that.

[fatalism]

aesthetics are not my vice but i am good at appreciating beautiful things

[ yeah, he's...oblivious and unsubtle at once. ]

of course you are tender. you are so very careful with the things you touch.


people you touch.

[darkdisgrace]

I'm starting to see why he's got such a thing for you.

[Geez. They really need a betting pool for this, don't they?

That being said, the next part is... well, baffling. He's not sure if it's a compliment or not, but Chuuya feels seen in a way that sets him off balance.]

What's the point of strength, if you don't take care of the things that are important to you? But I don't think that makes me gentle or tender or some shit. I've crushed men's skulls with my bare hands.

Or do you mean something else?

[fatalism]

of course, we are chess partners. i do not believe it is too different from your partnership with him, except for the fact you'd die for his sake.

[ ??? sometimes he forgets what is obvious to him is not for others. ]

you've crushed men's skulls with bare hands, there is nothing stopping you from doing that to everything but you choose not to. that's tenderness, that's humanity, that's not very god-like at all.

[darkdisgrace]

[It's going to take him a second to respond, because Fyodor is calling Chuuya out things even he refused to allow himself to consciously acknowledge.

And he'll keep refusing to acknowledge it, too.] I'd die for the sake of the Port Mafia, maybe. Dying for Dazai? Fuck no. I don't have a death wish.

[That would be abolutely moronic, after all.]

Wanting to kill everything would make me a psychopath. I'm a criminal, I like a good fight, but that doesn't mean I want to murder everyone. If that's your baseline for humanity, that's pretty weird.

But I won't deny that my ability can be more akin to a natural disaster, I guess.

[fatalism]

won't you die for him? hm, i envy that—that devotion. entirely of your own choosing.



are you implying god is a psychopath, godling? but, no, you are perhaps correct.

the strongest ability user, nakahara chuuya who could level cities in the blink of an eye instead prefers to work as a criminal and still find it in himself to want to protect those around him.

and even those who are no longer around him. that's tender.

[darkdisgrace]

I'm not going to die for a guy like Dazai. That would be just stupid, and I'm no idiot.

[He would, though he refuses to even consider the truth Fyodor speaks. Chuuya had so few people still alive who truly knew him... it was impossible not to at least try to keep Dazai alive.

And fucking hell, if that isn't Fyodor talking about him like he's... some sort of... It's embarrassing.]

I wouldn't call myself the strongest. There's plenty of people out there who are just as powerful as I am. There's at least one I've fought before.

And the responsibility of the strong is to use that power for others, so of course I do. I don't particularly want to level cities, I just want to live my life as best I can. Though if protecting things that matter to me means I level a building, or a city? Sure, why not.

[fatalism]

ah, i'm starting to see why he's got such a thing for you

[ which is only partially true, fyodor had his suspicions. seeing other's emotions is easier than seeing himself.

this is charming. ] so very, very charming of you to say things like that.

having power to protect what you love and yet still wanting to be ordinary is an odd combination. i'm only familiar with the desperate mediocrity that are most. there's nothing tender in those types.

[darkdisgrace]

That 'thing' is that he likes to annoy the shit out of me, obviously.

Charming? Seriously?

Still kind of fucking weird that you're using words like that specifically.

[Tender and charming have more of poetic connotations, romantic, even. What the fuck Fyodor!!]

I doubt any ability user is just a perfectly ordinary person. But that doesn't mean we're some sort of mystical thing, either. You don't have to be either/or, people are always gonna be just themselves. It's not that outrageous or hard to understand.

[fatalism]

and he wants to sleep with you. it must be nice to have someone you trust so completely want that from you

[ except fyodor sounds the opposite of glad, or he would if one could see him right now frowning at the screen.

it's not jealousy it's discomfort- after all he does not have that, and it's never seemed to matter before except—]

you're not just any ability user. and to think an ability does not corrupt a persons initial nature is naive at best.

[darkdisgrace]

What the fuck? It's not like that!

[Did Fyodor already notice the beds in their room? shit.]

I'm not about to have an argument about nature versus nurture with you. But I don't think it's nearly as clear cut as you're putting it, either.

If things went any differently in my life, I'd be a government weapon. It's because of many other people I'm not, and I'm grateful for that. For other people? The dice roll differently.

[fatalism]

isn't it, godling? is it not tender when he stops raking his teeth angrily down your throat?

[ i mean..... ]

but those things are not different in your life, the hand of god had a plan for you. are you comforted at least by knowing what you are? what you carry?

the suffering in this world brought by ability users is immense and yet, the most desperate of us are capable of terrible things. they'll find a way. whereas you are complacent because of your power.

few people, if any, could subdue you.

[darkdisgrace]

[Chuuya isn't sure if Fyodor intends for those words to be poetic or risque, but his face feel hot nonetheless. How did they get here?!] Do you have any idea how suggestive that sounds?! Ugh! Maybe you're the one who needs to get laid here, if you're thinking of things like that about us.

[He scrubs a hand over his face, breathing out long and low before continuing.]

I wouldn't put it down to god, personally. But if you believe that, I'm not going to argue with you.

And I suppose there's a kind of comfort to be had in knowing I have power that I can use to try and protect the things important to me. But does every ability user cause suffering? I don't think so. I'm certainly not removing myself from that number with my body count, but still.

And you'd be very surprised by the things that could subdue me, or just about anyone.

[fatalism]

oh, my apologies. i thought you enjoyed those types of words? or would the actions be better? dazai-kun has been very not forthcoming as to the general...terms of how intercourse goes between partners who are not emotionally involved.

[ ...kind of a lie ]

oh, so you'd like me to think of ways to put you down? [ teasing, almost ] but i do not entirely dispute your words, after all a great deal of suffering has been caused by those with no ability trying to use power beyond their means out of desperation

[darkdisgrace]

I'm saying we're not fucking, and never have!!!! Don't just assume things like that!! You're the one he's been undressing in his head the past 9 months, are you sure you're not just projecting or something?

[Gross!!!]

I suppose you could try to put me down, but it might not go well for you here. And everyone in the world is capable of things like that, ability or no.