[ fyodor lets the subject drop. after all, the godling and dazai will figure it out or they won't. ] i thank you for offering me focus now. [ look he's never going to be good at understanding that bonds between people are important, especially when they're just going home to the book anyway. he sucks. someone drop him in the trashcan. ]
You don't get it at all, do you? Shame, he'd calm down a bit if you fucked him and be like 5% less annoying.
[So terribly blunt, but that's Chuuya's way.]
Not all that much anymore, actually. It did bother me for years, whether I was human or not. But I don't think it's a crime to live, or a sin to exist.
i don't know what i am supposed to get. after all, the goal is to go back, yes? and back home you and i are trying to kill him and sigma. it's that simple.
to go back to the topic of your alleged crime, i do not feel it holds weight. while being born means you inherit the original sin it is by far the least of the crimes committed.
so there seems to be no true pattern as to what we are being judged over.
Yeah, but I'm talking about now. We're in an entire other world, after all. And you already know my feelings on that fight.
And on the topic of my supposed crime: Yeah, probably. I certainly don't consider existing a sin. But I've heard it said before, from different people.
But that's my point: the only judge for these things is other people.
you said you want to live, besides, how do you know i can't? you might be of use to me right until i can rewrite the world and then i'll leave you in it, alive and free of sin.
that's the goal.
[ ...he is so smart he's a bit unhinged. ]
yes, or something powerful. more than the book's powers.
So what, if it came down to letting me die to reach your goals, you wouldn't let me die? I thought your goals meant you had to use every tool at your disposal.
I might be a useful tool, but eventually there'll reach a point where I get discarded.
[That's what happens, after all. Chuuya knew what he was.]
Fuck if I know what that something is, but I'm not gonna base my morality on it's judgement.
yes, but that does not mean i lack appreciation for my tools. every single one of you sings beneath my fingers, willing or not, though i do prefer you willing. you're quite a beautiful, deadly blade, godling. why would i toss that away so easily? as if i do not have many paths to one single goal, would you not enjoy watching me remake the world and you with it? i'll be gentle, tender towards you in the same way you're tender towards others. would you like that?
even i must bend to god, and so must you, after all you're only partially a god and not an entire divinity. unless...
sings beneath my fingers? Beautiful, deadly blade? I'll be gentle and tender?
...Does Fyodor have any idea what he's saying? Does he reread the words he's typing and comprehend how suggestive they sound?!
Chuuya's face is flaming just from secondhand (or firsthand) embarrassment. He's glad this isn't in person-- he's terrible at hiding his emotions.]
Holy shit, how do you do that. Are you trying to get in my pants, or what? Because half of that sounded like flirting, let me tell you. Though I guess I should thank you for calling me beautiful.
i do not understand. like you said yourself, you are beautiful-these words are not anything outlandish or trivial like flirting or wanting to elicit a sexual response, i was merely trying to impress upon you the importance of you to me. how else should i do that but with words? besides, would you not like someone to be careful with you for once? my hands are stained with blood but i know well how to teach with warmth.
oh, and, you're welcome.
unless your godhood serves to bargain with whatever rules this dimension.
[ now that he got this reaction he's going to do it again for funsies ]
See, most people use those kinds of words in very specific scenarios. Like trying to get laid, or trying to impress someone they're romantically interested in.
Saying I'm important is one thing, but do you have to be so flowery about it?! Does me as a person even count in your plans in the grand scheme of things, for that matter?
[Well, Chuuya wouldn't know much about the romance bit. He's never dated, never even tried. It was too complicated a thing to juggle, at every period of his life so far.
But he knew how to flirt, and holy crap did all this sound flirtatious.]
My life is the exact opposite of careful.
And I don't know, but if you're really insistent on viewing my power as godly, you'd probably be more accurate using the proper terms.
i doubt words would easily impress you, your standards are high are they not? and of course you count as a person, though perhaps not in the way you wish to. if you would give serious and proper consideration to my proposal of an alliance then things would be different.
but i am aware that trying to sway your loyalties is a fruitless endeavour, i must merely learn to be content with the part of you i can touch. being my tool is not such a terrible fate all things considered. so far you've been very accommodating of my needs and wishes.
what is it that you really want if not sweet words?
["I must merely learn to be content with the part of you I can touch."
Does he. Does he even hear himself???]
You're right about that: My loyalty can't be swayed. The Port Mafia has suffered enough from your plans already. What do you mean, I've been accommodating? It's not like I had a choice back in our world.
What I want? What I always want.
[The safety and happiness of those he cared for. The city he loves to continue in all it's vibrancy.
For solely himself? Well, that's always been a harder question.]
You're talking to me like 'Arahabaki' is some incredible godlike being. That's a very western view of deities. It's not like that in Japan, where our concept of gods is much more varied.
[Chuuya's not particularly religious, but there had been a time when he was young that he'd done research, desperate for answers and any scraps of knowledge he could get. He isn't about to give a theology lesson, but the basics? Everyone knows those.]
didn't you? i wonder about that. [ fyodor please don't tease the gravity manipulator that can squish you like a fly.
but he lets that drop, some parts of chuuya are not difficult to figure out though fyodor has misjudged before.
and while he knows the lore, he's going to feign ignorance and let the other explain because:] how very charming of you to educate me, go on then. i'm listening.
[Fyodor please. Chuuya can barely remember everything that happened while he was under the effect of the vampire virus, but he's pretty sure that's indication enough of what his mental state was.]
You have to be one of the few people I've ever met who'd dare call me 'charming', besides Kouyou.
[Which was her teasing him when he was younger, obviously.]
Japan's concept of 'kami' is that they're numerous and part of everything, and not always supremely divine in the way you'd view it. Pretty much everything has some sort of god aligned with it, and not all of them are particularly impressive.
It was called 'Arahabaki' because it's the name of a deity old and obscure enough no one can even say with certainty how it's supposed to be fucking spelled, let alone it's significance. If taken literally, the biggest guess is it was a god of pants and iron, of all freaking things.
Suffice it to say, it's a pretty ridiculous 'god' to be praising.
[ none of what chuuya says is unknown to fyodor but he enjoys being told all of this; as if he is a friendly enough acquaintance to deserve an explanation, and that is why he won't ruin the moment by saying 'i know'. ]
for the tainted sorrow-it's an interesting name for an ability that comes from a god of pants and iron, if that is indeed the origin. what do you think guivre is then?
Do you always talk like this to people? With such flowery words.
[Chuuya's gonna feel like a real idiot later if he finds out Fyodor already knows the nitty gritty of this, but-- well, he feels like he needs to justify himself here, somehow.]
It's not like it actually has a name. It's a singularity, it doesn't have a separate consciousness, it doesn't speak or anything. It's just like a huge nexus of energy, like a storm in a can.
As for Guivre? I wouldn't know, it's been dead for years. I made damn sure of that, so it's not like knowing is gonna do anything at this point.
sometimes. [ though he is doing this on purpose for you, chuuya. ] i can also switch to something else thumbs up emoji.
it matters, arahabaki was something before he was merged with you. but guivre...i wonder, the files were mostly destroyed but you were both made from similar methods.
what a terrible thing for people to engineer ability users like weapons of mass destruction, don't you think?
See, there you go. You talk about it like it's a conscious thing, with an identity. But it's still me in there when I let it out: There's overwhelming power and a burning drive to destroy anything and everything, to the point I'm drowning in it. But there's nothing giving me orders or some shit.
It's just me.
[It's always been Chuuya, trapped in the center of that storm when it rages.]
If you're looking for someone to go 'hey yeah, your idea of completely remaking the world sounds great', you're looking in the wrong place.
I can't deny that Verlaine was fucking miserable for it, yeah.
But I managed to find a place and purpose in the world, I don't regret being who I am.
I do think the people behind it all were fucking bastards, and I wouldn't hesitate to destroy them all if I found another operation up and running, but I don't regret being me.
very well so you prefer my other ways of communication, i can certainly do this for you if it pleases you; that is all well and good.
for someone who appears so decisive you hesitate at the oddest of junctures.
fascinating. i did wonder how it felt, there are no records of that available to me. just you and the ability to level cities. [ can you hear the smirk? oh dear ]
while you siding with me out of your own volition would be desirable i am also not known for fighting losing battles. i'd rather spend my energies elsewhere, but i am not asking or wishing for you to regret your existence. after all, your existence has been beneficial to me in a lot of ways.
but there other abilities that are cruel and frightening and uncontrollable.
[Fyodor cannot see Chuuya's face, but he can certainly imagine it: furiously annoyed over falling for so obvious a bait. Ugh, he's never going to escape is he?]
Well now you do. Though it's not like that would have been recorded anyway.
[The first time he used Corruption, N was already a smear in the dirt. And no one ever polled Chuuya afterwards about small details like that.]
I get it. I do. I've fought countless ability users and have met some seriously sick fucks who use their abilities for only cruelty. Hell, you killed one of them: I suppose I should thank you for that.
[ugh, Ace. At least they didn't have to tolerate his ass at the executive table anymore.]
But just erasing every single ability in the world without each person's agreement? That's almost as bad as engineering ability users without their consent, just the other way around. It's forcing things on others.
then what did you mean, godling? i only wish to find the most agreeable way to communicate with you now and in future. it wouldn't do for you to misunderstand my words and intentions.
abilities are outside the natural order; they defy the laws of nature. you know this better than most.
[ this is one of those rare times that he is genuine and direct about something he believes in ]
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fascinating.
a crime that bothers you deeply, does it not?
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[So terribly blunt, but that's Chuuya's way.]
Not all that much anymore, actually. It did bother me for years, whether I was human or not. But I don't think it's a crime to live, or a sin to exist.
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to go back to the topic of your alleged crime, i do not feel it holds weight. while being born means you inherit the original sin it is by far the least of the crimes committed.
so there seems to be no true pattern as to what we are being judged over.
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And on the topic of my supposed crime: Yeah, probably. I certainly don't consider existing a sin. But I've heard it said before, from different people.
But that's my point: the only judge for these things is other people.
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[ that is his concession for this ]
there still exists a universality to sin, and it may that whatever is judging you here is not a person.
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You can't promise that, and I don't see why you would.
[Sure, he was useful. But if it came down to it, he's still disposable when compared to Fyodor's ultimate goal.]
So you think there's a god running the show here?
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that's the goal.
[ ...he is so smart he's a bit unhinged. ]
yes, or something powerful. more than the book's powers.
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I might be a useful tool, but eventually there'll reach a point where I get discarded.
[That's what happens, after all. Chuuya knew what he was.]
Fuck if I know what that something is, but I'm not gonna base my morality on it's judgement.
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even i must bend to god, and so must you, after all you're only partially a god and not an entire divinity. unless...
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sings beneath my fingers? Beautiful, deadly blade? I'll be gentle and tender?
...Does Fyodor have any idea what he's saying? Does he reread the words he's typing and comprehend how suggestive they sound?!
Chuuya's face is flaming just from secondhand (or firsthand) embarrassment. He's glad this isn't in person-- he's terrible at hiding his emotions.]
Holy shit, how do you do that. Are you trying to get in my pants, or what? Because half of that sounded like flirting, let me tell you. Though I guess I should thank you for calling me beautiful.
2/2
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oh, and, you're welcome.
unless your godhood serves to bargain with whatever rules this dimension.
[ now that he got this reaction he's going to do it again for funsies ]
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Saying I'm important is one thing, but do you have to be so flowery about it?! Does me as a person even count in your plans in the grand scheme of things, for that matter?
[Well, Chuuya wouldn't know much about the romance bit. He's never dated, never even tried. It was too complicated a thing to juggle, at every period of his life so far.
But he knew how to flirt, and holy crap did all this sound flirtatious.]
My life is the exact opposite of careful.
And I don't know, but if you're really insistent on viewing my power as godly, you'd probably be more accurate using the proper terms.
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but i am aware that trying to sway your loyalties is a fruitless endeavour, i must merely learn to be content with the part of you i can touch. being my tool is not such a terrible fate all things considered. so far you've been very accommodating of my needs and wishes.
what is it that you really want if not sweet words?
[ oh, theology! his fav part ]
oh? proper terms?
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Does he. Does he even hear himself???]
You're right about that: My loyalty can't be swayed. The Port Mafia has suffered enough from your plans already. What do you mean, I've been accommodating? It's not like I had a choice back in our world.
What I want? What I always want.
[The safety and happiness of those he cared for. The city he loves to continue in all it's vibrancy.
For solely himself? Well, that's always been a harder question.]
You're talking to me like 'Arahabaki' is some incredible godlike being. That's a very western view of deities. It's not like that in Japan, where our concept of gods is much more varied.
[Chuuya's not particularly religious, but there had been a time when he was young that he'd done research, desperate for answers and any scraps of knowledge he could get. He isn't about to give a theology lesson, but the basics? Everyone knows those.]
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but he lets that drop, some parts of chuuya are not difficult to figure out though fyodor has misjudged before.
and while he knows the lore, he's going to feign ignorance and let the other explain because:] how very charming of you to educate me, go on then. i'm listening.
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You have to be one of the few people I've ever met who'd dare call me 'charming', besides Kouyou.
[Which was her teasing him when he was younger, obviously.]
Japan's concept of 'kami' is that they're numerous and part of everything, and not always supremely divine in the way you'd view it. Pretty much everything has some sort of god aligned with it, and not all of them are particularly impressive.
It was called 'Arahabaki' because it's the name of a deity old and obscure enough no one can even say with certainty how it's supposed to be fucking spelled, let alone it's significance. If taken literally, the biggest guess is it was a god of pants and iron, of all freaking things.
Suffice it to say, it's a pretty ridiculous 'god' to be praising.
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[ none of what chuuya says is unknown to fyodor but he enjoys being told all of this; as if he is a friendly enough acquaintance to deserve an explanation, and that is why he won't ruin the moment by saying 'i know'. ]
for the tainted sorrow-it's an interesting name for an ability that comes from a god of pants and iron, if that is indeed the origin. what do you think guivre is then?
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[Chuuya's gonna feel like a real idiot later if he finds out Fyodor already knows the nitty gritty of this, but-- well, he feels like he needs to justify himself here, somehow.]
It's not like it actually has a name. It's a singularity, it doesn't have a separate consciousness, it doesn't speak or anything. It's just like a huge nexus of energy, like a storm in a can.
As for Guivre? I wouldn't know, it's been dead for years. I made damn sure of that, so it's not like knowing is gonna do anything at this point.
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it matters, arahabaki was something before he was merged with you. but guivre...i wonder, the files were mostly destroyed but you were both made from similar methods.
what a terrible thing for people to engineer ability users like weapons of mass destruction, don't you think?
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[BLUNTLY.]
See, there you go. You talk about it like it's a conscious thing, with an identity. But it's still me in there when I let it out: There's overwhelming power and a burning drive to destroy anything and everything, to the point I'm drowning in it. But there's nothing giving me orders or some shit.
It's just me.
[It's always been Chuuya, trapped in the center of that storm when it rages.]
If you're looking for someone to go 'hey yeah, your idea of completely remaking the world sounds great', you're looking in the wrong place.
I can't deny that Verlaine was fucking miserable for it, yeah.
But I managed to find a place and purpose in the world, I don't regret being who I am.
I do think the people behind it all were fucking bastards, and I wouldn't hesitate to destroy them all if I found another operation up and running, but I don't regret being me.
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for someone who appears so decisive you hesitate at the oddest of junctures.
fascinating. i did wonder how it felt, there are no records of that available to me. just you and the ability to level cities. [ can you hear the smirk? oh dear ]
while you siding with me out of your own volition would be desirable i am also not known for fighting losing battles. i'd rather spend my energies elsewhere, but i am not asking or wishing for you to regret your existence. after all, your existence has been beneficial to me in a lot of ways.
but there other abilities that are cruel and frightening and uncontrollable.
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[Fyodor cannot see Chuuya's face, but he can certainly imagine it: furiously annoyed over falling for so obvious a bait. Ugh, he's never going to escape is he?]
Well now you do. Though it's not like that would have been recorded anyway.
[The first time he used Corruption, N was already a smear in the dirt. And no one ever polled Chuuya afterwards about small details like that.]
I get it. I do. I've fought countless ability users and have met some seriously sick fucks who use their abilities for only cruelty. Hell, you killed one of them: I suppose I should thank you for that.
[ugh, Ace. At least they didn't have to tolerate his ass at the executive table anymore.]
But just erasing every single ability in the world without each person's agreement? That's almost as bad as engineering ability users without their consent, just the other way around. It's forcing things on others.
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abilities are outside the natural order; they defy the laws of nature. you know this better than most.
[ this is one of those rare times that he is genuine and direct about something he believes in ]
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[Fyodor you brat. He rolls his eyes, unseen.]
Only living things with a mind and will can have abilities. In that way, they're perfectly natural.
sure, science can't explain how they come to be, but that doesn't mean much.
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