neither one of you is benefitting from this ongoing theater of denial. and your good looks only take you so far, i doubt it is looks that has dazai's attention solely.
[ ...oh, he didn't like that at all. then why allow dazai to get close at all? it'd be a foolish thing indeed, for a moment fyodor had forgotten that this is temporary, until they get home and find the book. that's right. what matters is the book. ]
a sin is a sin. there is a certain universality to them, across religions and social expectations and everything. if we allowed murder in society to not be a sin, how many would drop dead in a way and sleep soundly at night? far too many.
Dazai doesn't want to fuck me. The very idea of having sex with each other probably pisses him off as much as it does me.
[He rolls his eyes, snorting.]
Is there? Because last I checked, religion and the concept of sin was defined by humans. And you may call me a godling, but I sure as fuck don't believe in some all powerful deity since I sure ain't seen one.
['Arahabaki' didn't count. There was no sense of logic to a power like that, just pure power and destruction.]
I've killed people for a lot of reasons. Way more than Dazai.
Say, did you figure out what this place named as my crime?
lie. i will only call it out once, but so it is clear- it is a lie and denial both. were he not interested in you, i would have him.
[ still, he doesn't care to engage too much in whatever his temporary allies have going on. it's all going to end eventually so there is no point in forming any sort of partnership. even with nikolai. ]
god is god. had i told you i've seen him you would say i am insane.
if i make an educated guess and get your crime right, would it upset you?
[There's... a particularly long pause before Chuuya manages to respond. Mostly because he's laughing so hard he can't breathe.]
It's really funny that you think Dazai only thinks about fucking one person at a time. Delusional, though. I'm pretty sure he's already seduced some women here. He is incapable of keeping his dick in his pants.
So if he turned your offer down, it's definitely not because he doesn't want to fuck you. Probably the opposite actually, and Dazai with a crush is disturbing to think about.
[Fyodor please. There's no denying this will end when they go home, but there's still benefit in getting to know people, in Chuuya's opinion.]
have you not considered his lack of commitment is because he already has someone in mind? [ he means you, chuuya, congrats! ] i will not entertain your attempts to avoid your feelings by implying he wants me.
i am a very busy man after all, and now that i'm no longer behind glass there is much to be done if we are to return home.
it has to do with your status as a living being, does it not?
Yeah no. It's because he's a horndog who fucks people to feel something. If he turned down fucking you, it means you actually mean something to him enough to not want to fuck it up.
[Chuuya won't push the subject further than that, if Fyodor doesn't want to. But still, as someone who knows Dazai better than most... he knows this is Something Else.]
Got it in one.
It's 'being born'. Not murder, not smuggling, not destruction. Just existing is enough of a crime, a sin.
[ fyodor lets the subject drop. after all, the godling and dazai will figure it out or they won't. ] i thank you for offering me focus now. [ look he's never going to be good at understanding that bonds between people are important, especially when they're just going home to the book anyway. he sucks. someone drop him in the trashcan. ]
You don't get it at all, do you? Shame, he'd calm down a bit if you fucked him and be like 5% less annoying.
[So terribly blunt, but that's Chuuya's way.]
Not all that much anymore, actually. It did bother me for years, whether I was human or not. But I don't think it's a crime to live, or a sin to exist.
i don't know what i am supposed to get. after all, the goal is to go back, yes? and back home you and i are trying to kill him and sigma. it's that simple.
to go back to the topic of your alleged crime, i do not feel it holds weight. while being born means you inherit the original sin it is by far the least of the crimes committed.
so there seems to be no true pattern as to what we are being judged over.
Yeah, but I'm talking about now. We're in an entire other world, after all. And you already know my feelings on that fight.
And on the topic of my supposed crime: Yeah, probably. I certainly don't consider existing a sin. But I've heard it said before, from different people.
But that's my point: the only judge for these things is other people.
you said you want to live, besides, how do you know i can't? you might be of use to me right until i can rewrite the world and then i'll leave you in it, alive and free of sin.
that's the goal.
[ ...he is so smart he's a bit unhinged. ]
yes, or something powerful. more than the book's powers.
So what, if it came down to letting me die to reach your goals, you wouldn't let me die? I thought your goals meant you had to use every tool at your disposal.
I might be a useful tool, but eventually there'll reach a point where I get discarded.
[That's what happens, after all. Chuuya knew what he was.]
Fuck if I know what that something is, but I'm not gonna base my morality on it's judgement.
yes, but that does not mean i lack appreciation for my tools. every single one of you sings beneath my fingers, willing or not, though i do prefer you willing. you're quite a beautiful, deadly blade, godling. why would i toss that away so easily? as if i do not have many paths to one single goal, would you not enjoy watching me remake the world and you with it? i'll be gentle, tender towards you in the same way you're tender towards others. would you like that?
even i must bend to god, and so must you, after all you're only partially a god and not an entire divinity. unless...
sings beneath my fingers? Beautiful, deadly blade? I'll be gentle and tender?
...Does Fyodor have any idea what he's saying? Does he reread the words he's typing and comprehend how suggestive they sound?!
Chuuya's face is flaming just from secondhand (or firsthand) embarrassment. He's glad this isn't in person-- he's terrible at hiding his emotions.]
Holy shit, how do you do that. Are you trying to get in my pants, or what? Because half of that sounded like flirting, let me tell you. Though I guess I should thank you for calling me beautiful.
i do not understand. like you said yourself, you are beautiful-these words are not anything outlandish or trivial like flirting or wanting to elicit a sexual response, i was merely trying to impress upon you the importance of you to me. how else should i do that but with words? besides, would you not like someone to be careful with you for once? my hands are stained with blood but i know well how to teach with warmth.
oh, and, you're welcome.
unless your godhood serves to bargain with whatever rules this dimension.
[ now that he got this reaction he's going to do it again for funsies ]
See, most people use those kinds of words in very specific scenarios. Like trying to get laid, or trying to impress someone they're romantically interested in.
Saying I'm important is one thing, but do you have to be so flowery about it?! Does me as a person even count in your plans in the grand scheme of things, for that matter?
[Well, Chuuya wouldn't know much about the romance bit. He's never dated, never even tried. It was too complicated a thing to juggle, at every period of his life so far.
But he knew how to flirt, and holy crap did all this sound flirtatious.]
My life is the exact opposite of careful.
And I don't know, but if you're really insistent on viewing my power as godly, you'd probably be more accurate using the proper terms.
i doubt words would easily impress you, your standards are high are they not? and of course you count as a person, though perhaps not in the way you wish to. if you would give serious and proper consideration to my proposal of an alliance then things would be different.
but i am aware that trying to sway your loyalties is a fruitless endeavour, i must merely learn to be content with the part of you i can touch. being my tool is not such a terrible fate all things considered. so far you've been very accommodating of my needs and wishes.
what is it that you really want if not sweet words?
["I must merely learn to be content with the part of you I can touch."
Does he. Does he even hear himself???]
You're right about that: My loyalty can't be swayed. The Port Mafia has suffered enough from your plans already. What do you mean, I've been accommodating? It's not like I had a choice back in our world.
What I want? What I always want.
[The safety and happiness of those he cared for. The city he loves to continue in all it's vibrancy.
For solely himself? Well, that's always been a harder question.]
You're talking to me like 'Arahabaki' is some incredible godlike being. That's a very western view of deities. It's not like that in Japan, where our concept of gods is much more varied.
[Chuuya's not particularly religious, but there had been a time when he was young that he'd done research, desperate for answers and any scraps of knowledge he could get. He isn't about to give a theology lesson, but the basics? Everyone knows those.]
didn't you? i wonder about that. [ fyodor please don't tease the gravity manipulator that can squish you like a fly.
but he lets that drop, some parts of chuuya are not difficult to figure out though fyodor has misjudged before.
and while he knows the lore, he's going to feign ignorance and let the other explain because:] how very charming of you to educate me, go on then. i'm listening.
[Fyodor please. Chuuya can barely remember everything that happened while he was under the effect of the vampire virus, but he's pretty sure that's indication enough of what his mental state was.]
You have to be one of the few people I've ever met who'd dare call me 'charming', besides Kouyou.
[Which was her teasing him when he was younger, obviously.]
Japan's concept of 'kami' is that they're numerous and part of everything, and not always supremely divine in the way you'd view it. Pretty much everything has some sort of god aligned with it, and not all of them are particularly impressive.
It was called 'Arahabaki' because it's the name of a deity old and obscure enough no one can even say with certainty how it's supposed to be fucking spelled, let alone it's significance. If taken literally, the biggest guess is it was a god of pants and iron, of all freaking things.
Suffice it to say, it's a pretty ridiculous 'god' to be praising.
[ none of what chuuya says is unknown to fyodor but he enjoys being told all of this; as if he is a friendly enough acquaintance to deserve an explanation, and that is why he won't ruin the moment by saying 'i know'. ]
for the tainted sorrow-it's an interesting name for an ability that comes from a god of pants and iron, if that is indeed the origin. what do you think guivre is then?
Do you always talk like this to people? With such flowery words.
[Chuuya's gonna feel like a real idiot later if he finds out Fyodor already knows the nitty gritty of this, but-- well, he feels like he needs to justify himself here, somehow.]
It's not like it actually has a name. It's a singularity, it doesn't have a separate consciousness, it doesn't speak or anything. It's just like a huge nexus of energy, like a storm in a can.
As for Guivre? I wouldn't know, it's been dead for years. I made damn sure of that, so it's not like knowing is gonna do anything at this point.
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[ ...oh, he didn't like that at all. then why allow dazai to get close at all? it'd be a foolish thing indeed, for a moment fyodor had forgotten that this is temporary, until they get home and find the book. that's right. what matters is the book. ]
a sin is a sin. there is a certain universality to them, across religions and social expectations and everything. if we allowed murder in society to not be a sin, how many would drop dead in a way and sleep soundly at night? far too many.
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[He rolls his eyes, snorting.]
Is there? Because last I checked, religion and the concept of sin was defined by humans. And you may call me a godling, but I sure as fuck don't believe in some all powerful deity since I sure ain't seen one.
['Arahabaki' didn't count. There was no sense of logic to a power like that, just pure power and destruction.]
I've killed people for a lot of reasons. Way more than Dazai.
Say, did you figure out what this place named as my crime?
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[ still, he doesn't care to engage too much in whatever his temporary allies have going on. it's all going to end eventually so there is no point in forming any sort of partnership. even with nikolai. ]
god is god. had i told you i've seen him you would say i am insane.
if i make an educated guess and get your crime right, would it upset you?
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It's really funny that you think Dazai only thinks about fucking one person at a time. Delusional, though. I'm pretty sure he's already seduced some women here. He is incapable of keeping his dick in his pants.
So if he turned your offer down, it's definitely not because he doesn't want to fuck you. Probably the opposite actually, and Dazai with a crush is disturbing to think about.
[Fyodor please. There's no denying this will end when they go home, but there's still benefit in getting to know people, in Chuuya's opinion.]
Sure, go ahead. I'm sure I've heard it before.
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i am a very busy man after all, and now that i'm no longer behind glass there is much to be done if we are to return home.
it has to do with your status as a living being, does it not?
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[Chuuya won't push the subject further than that, if Fyodor doesn't want to. But still, as someone who knows Dazai better than most... he knows this is Something Else.]
Got it in one.
It's 'being born'. Not murder, not smuggling, not destruction. Just existing is enough of a crime, a sin.
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fascinating.
a crime that bothers you deeply, does it not?
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[So terribly blunt, but that's Chuuya's way.]
Not all that much anymore, actually. It did bother me for years, whether I was human or not. But I don't think it's a crime to live, or a sin to exist.
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to go back to the topic of your alleged crime, i do not feel it holds weight. while being born means you inherit the original sin it is by far the least of the crimes committed.
so there seems to be no true pattern as to what we are being judged over.
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And on the topic of my supposed crime: Yeah, probably. I certainly don't consider existing a sin. But I've heard it said before, from different people.
But that's my point: the only judge for these things is other people.
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[ that is his concession for this ]
there still exists a universality to sin, and it may that whatever is judging you here is not a person.
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You can't promise that, and I don't see why you would.
[Sure, he was useful. But if it came down to it, he's still disposable when compared to Fyodor's ultimate goal.]
So you think there's a god running the show here?
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that's the goal.
[ ...he is so smart he's a bit unhinged. ]
yes, or something powerful. more than the book's powers.
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I might be a useful tool, but eventually there'll reach a point where I get discarded.
[That's what happens, after all. Chuuya knew what he was.]
Fuck if I know what that something is, but I'm not gonna base my morality on it's judgement.
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even i must bend to god, and so must you, after all you're only partially a god and not an entire divinity. unless...
1/2
sings beneath my fingers? Beautiful, deadly blade? I'll be gentle and tender?
...Does Fyodor have any idea what he's saying? Does he reread the words he's typing and comprehend how suggestive they sound?!
Chuuya's face is flaming just from secondhand (or firsthand) embarrassment. He's glad this isn't in person-- he's terrible at hiding his emotions.]
Holy shit, how do you do that. Are you trying to get in my pants, or what? Because half of that sounded like flirting, let me tell you. Though I guess I should thank you for calling me beautiful.
2/2
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oh, and, you're welcome.
unless your godhood serves to bargain with whatever rules this dimension.
[ now that he got this reaction he's going to do it again for funsies ]
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Saying I'm important is one thing, but do you have to be so flowery about it?! Does me as a person even count in your plans in the grand scheme of things, for that matter?
[Well, Chuuya wouldn't know much about the romance bit. He's never dated, never even tried. It was too complicated a thing to juggle, at every period of his life so far.
But he knew how to flirt, and holy crap did all this sound flirtatious.]
My life is the exact opposite of careful.
And I don't know, but if you're really insistent on viewing my power as godly, you'd probably be more accurate using the proper terms.
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but i am aware that trying to sway your loyalties is a fruitless endeavour, i must merely learn to be content with the part of you i can touch. being my tool is not such a terrible fate all things considered. so far you've been very accommodating of my needs and wishes.
what is it that you really want if not sweet words?
[ oh, theology! his fav part ]
oh? proper terms?
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Does he. Does he even hear himself???]
You're right about that: My loyalty can't be swayed. The Port Mafia has suffered enough from your plans already. What do you mean, I've been accommodating? It's not like I had a choice back in our world.
What I want? What I always want.
[The safety and happiness of those he cared for. The city he loves to continue in all it's vibrancy.
For solely himself? Well, that's always been a harder question.]
You're talking to me like 'Arahabaki' is some incredible godlike being. That's a very western view of deities. It's not like that in Japan, where our concept of gods is much more varied.
[Chuuya's not particularly religious, but there had been a time when he was young that he'd done research, desperate for answers and any scraps of knowledge he could get. He isn't about to give a theology lesson, but the basics? Everyone knows those.]
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but he lets that drop, some parts of chuuya are not difficult to figure out though fyodor has misjudged before.
and while he knows the lore, he's going to feign ignorance and let the other explain because:] how very charming of you to educate me, go on then. i'm listening.
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You have to be one of the few people I've ever met who'd dare call me 'charming', besides Kouyou.
[Which was her teasing him when he was younger, obviously.]
Japan's concept of 'kami' is that they're numerous and part of everything, and not always supremely divine in the way you'd view it. Pretty much everything has some sort of god aligned with it, and not all of them are particularly impressive.
It was called 'Arahabaki' because it's the name of a deity old and obscure enough no one can even say with certainty how it's supposed to be fucking spelled, let alone it's significance. If taken literally, the biggest guess is it was a god of pants and iron, of all freaking things.
Suffice it to say, it's a pretty ridiculous 'god' to be praising.
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[ none of what chuuya says is unknown to fyodor but he enjoys being told all of this; as if he is a friendly enough acquaintance to deserve an explanation, and that is why he won't ruin the moment by saying 'i know'. ]
for the tainted sorrow-it's an interesting name for an ability that comes from a god of pants and iron, if that is indeed the origin. what do you think guivre is then?
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[Chuuya's gonna feel like a real idiot later if he finds out Fyodor already knows the nitty gritty of this, but-- well, he feels like he needs to justify himself here, somehow.]
It's not like it actually has a name. It's a singularity, it doesn't have a separate consciousness, it doesn't speak or anything. It's just like a huge nexus of energy, like a storm in a can.
As for Guivre? I wouldn't know, it's been dead for years. I made damn sure of that, so it's not like knowing is gonna do anything at this point.
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