Then what the fuck are you mad about? Because the least sexy thing in the world is realizing I told Fyodor we're fucking in the same conversation he seared the mental image of kissing Mori into my goddamn brain!
Hah? I ain't no detective, I just know your fuckboy M.O. and you're breaking it something fierce with him. You're actually trying to get him to think about his feelings and what he wants, yeah? He ain't just a fuck to you.
If you're concluding I am not fucking him and that's proof that I'm giving him space to think, and thus, I'm into him, what does it say over the fact I could have tried with you any time and haven't?
Oh, perhaps that theory needs some tweaking! Wrong, soooooo, sooooooo, soooooo wrong.
[Chuuya can be heard audibly sputtering on the other side of the charm, thanks Dazai. Good thing this is audio and not face to face though, because he's blushing.]
Obviously because we'd have fucking killed each other, or do you recall when you told me you thought about it once and tried to shoot me at the very idea?!
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(SO THEN WHAT ARE YOU MAD ABOUT!!!)
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[Ugh. Ugh!!!]
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[Ah, he's in full wasted rant mode, now.]
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[There's a thunk as Chuuya drops his head on a table somewhere.]
It's actually kind of endearing how dense he is? Makes me wanna tease him.
[Waaaaay too drunk for this.]
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... I don't think he understands these things at all.
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I just mean it's pretty damn telling how into him you are. Yet he seems to be in denial about it regardless.
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Oh, perhaps that theory needs some tweaking! Wrong, soooooo, sooooooo, soooooo wrong.
(mansplain, manwhore, gaslight, in that order.)
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Obviously because we'd have fucking killed each other, or do you recall when you told me you thought about it once and tried to shoot me at the very idea?!
[Excellent plan Dazai, excellent.]
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As we know today, both of us would have been very into that. You're so violent!
I thought about it, did I do it? Absolutely not. Ooooh, flaws in your theory, oOoOoOoOOOOOO.
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Fine! Maybe I haven't figured everything out, but there's no denying you're into him!
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Ah, No-Evidence-Chuuya-kun.