And someone who had his secrets in my hand, a birthright to slit his throat, and could kill or create an uprising against him. Besides, is it truly that advantageous to Mori to have his moneymaker that close to someone whose morals tell him not to kill?
No, explain. Yeah Mori killed the old boss, but I'm pretty sure most of the executives already know that. What do you mean you have a birthright to slit his throat?
Do I need to draw? You already explained it yourself right now. He killed the boss. He is the boss. I have the right to become the boss. And the answer is...?
[It takes Chuuya a moment, because they've already established Mori was training Dazai to take over someday. But 'birthright' meant something different entirely. Sure, Chuuya wasn't exactly well versed in blood family things, but..]
Think about that one time you sort of met him. Why on Earth would a mafia boss know a suicidal kid, call him brat, say I'm a nostalgic face, and why would I know he has back problems?
(has chuuya never really stopped to consider these things?)
[Nothing really follows that though. Chuuya hadn't really thought too deeply about why Mori, an underground doctor, had met Dazai. He knew it had to do with Dazai's suicidal tendencies, but hadn't really considered the why beyond the morbid truth that Mori had used a patient as an alibi.]
(whether that means his mother had been pretty at some time in the past, or that he doesn't know how she looks now, or if she died is all up in the air.)
[That single statement, offered so casually, seems to punch the wind out of Chuuya's sails pretty effectively.
He's not messing with him. Holy shit.
He's completely forgotten to keep grip on Dazai, but there are so many things that make a horrifying amount of sense now, and Chuuya is almost dizzy with it.] So all that talk about your blood being Mafia black wasn't just a turn of phrase. Fucking hell. That's why Hirotsu treats you like some sorta grandson too, isn't it?
[Another realization followed.] Did Mori think I knew?
Yep. And... No, because he knows I wouldn't have told you, and you wouldn't go digging. You're already too preoccupied with your own existence to care about the origins of mine, wouldn't you think? It's not something I would want known, anyway.
(he's telling chuuya right now simply because it hardly matters here. it doesn't, really - there's no mafia. he doesn't think it will make him turn against it once they return, should they return with any memories of this place.)
[Chuuya lets out a breath, taking a seat on the ground to absorb all of this. Because this changed a lot of things. It threw everything he knew about Dazai's defection on it's head.]
The second I got back from the mission I was on during the whole mimic fiasco, I got dragged into Mori's office. He asked a lot of questions, so much I was sweating bullets 'cause I couldn't answer any of 'em. [And angry. So very, very angry and betrayed that Dazai had just up and left.]
(which is the whole point of the whole thing. he loved oda. even if oda hadn't asked him to do something different with his life, he would be completely different in the mafia from his now promise. not usable for mori whatsoever.)
[Chuuya stares at the ground for a long moment, trying to absorb it all. He understood why Mori used Oda:
"A leader develops their subordinates and places them wherever they best fit and disposes of them if necessary."
"I will gladly perform the most heinous acts for the sake of this organization. That is what it means to be a leader.
I do it all for the organization and the protection of this beloved city."
He'd done it because that was what a great leader did. But... for Dazai, he'd taken the one person he'd ever loved so deeply. Dazai had pulled the mafia to new heights with his work, and the payment he'd been given was...]
Fuck.
[It's the only word he can offer, breathed out softly beneath his breath.]
(perhaps now he gets it. all in all, he is a traitor, he turned his back from day to night, disappeared, and now he works on the other side in a way that often can conflict with mafia business.
for a good reason, even if parts of that are still hidden from chuuya as they are. maybe one day, he'll feel comfortable enough to tell chuuya what it felt like to hold odasaku in his arms, to hear his last words, and make that promise to the man who took his last breath in his arms.
[Chuuya lets out a long, low breath, then inhales deeply once again. It's a lot to process. He has time here, at least.
Maybe that's why Dazai said all of that. Because they weren't in Yokohama, and there weren't any crises going on to deal with.
The tap on his back helps, admittedly. Dazai's touch always seems to settle him, even without his ability in use. Something about the association, maybe. He's not sure.]
I'm not gonna ask why you didn't tell me any of this shit, because I'm pretty sure half this shit is treason to even know. But I do want to know: Why now?
(why would he have? what would be the point to tell chuuya then and there? here, there's no treason to commit. there's nothing chuuya can do for it, and since he already is without the mafia, well.
it's not like dazai can take his home away from him by exposing it. much easier to be an ass and not say all of that, anyway.)
You're so annoying. How are you 160cm of annoyance? Is there anything not annoying in you?
(see, however he might yap, the hand never moves away. after all this, it's good for 'no longer human' to remind chuuya that he's alright. he's safe. even if it is a bomb in the shape of a conversation.)
Ah, you made me think of painful things. The bill is on you.
I should be asking you that: How are you 181cm of annoyance? Were you just born with the desire to menace people?
[He rolls his eyes but he doesn't remove his hand either, the stability provided by Dazai more than welcome. Chuuya's self control of his ability was excellent for what his ability was, but moments like these made him want to destroy something with his bare hands, for the tainted sorrow sparking beneath his skin in response.]
(he might not really feel the abilities, the wash, pull, push, when 'no longer human' is so quiet, but he knows what's happening beneath chuuya's skin. he knows the other too much.
consider the squeezing of his small hand a quiet comfort.)
You're paying Odasaku a glass, too. You'd've liked him. Pay respects, you see?
[Usually, when Chuuya was this emotional, he could just smash something or pick a fight. Unfortunately, they actually had to behave here if they wanted the locals to work with them. It was not a limitation he often had to work with, when the mafia covered the tab for any 'incidental' property damage.
But Dazai might or might not be surprised by the ease of Chuuya's response.]
sure, sure. Anyone who could handle you deserves a drink from me, honestly.
[And unspoken is the fact that Chuuya is aware, keenly, of the comfort such little acts bring. He still visits the graves of his friends, burns incense for them, shares little tidbits about his life. Assures Albatross that he's taking good care of his bike, too.]
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[Which takes Chuuya some doing to admit, but really Dazai.]
Everyone knew he was setting you up to take over someday!
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Are you're saying that shriveled old man was--
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(has chuuya never really stopped to consider these things?)
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Dazai looks nothing like the guy!!]
'Sort of' being the key word here!! I was busy fighting Rimbaud, damn it! And I always figured you met him before in the mafia!
cw suicide
CW: suicide
[Nothing really follows that though. Chuuya hadn't really thought too deeply about why Mori, an underground doctor, had met Dazai. He knew it had to do with Dazai's suicidal tendencies, but hadn't really considered the why beyond the morbid truth that Mori had used a patient as an alibi.]
You don't look a single thing like that guy.
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(whether that means his mother had been pretty at some time in the past, or that he doesn't know how she looks now, or if she died is all up in the air.)
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[That single statement, offered so casually, seems to punch the wind out of Chuuya's sails pretty effectively.
He's not messing with him. Holy shit.
He's completely forgotten to keep grip on Dazai, but there are so many things that make a horrifying amount of sense now, and Chuuya is almost dizzy with it.] So all that talk about your blood being Mafia black wasn't just a turn of phrase. Fucking hell. That's why Hirotsu treats you like some sorta grandson too, isn't it?
[Another realization followed.] Did Mori think I knew?
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(he's telling chuuya right now simply because it hardly matters here. it doesn't, really - there's no mafia. he doesn't think it will make him turn against it once they return, should they return with any memories of this place.)
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The second I got back from the mission I was on during the whole mimic fiasco, I got dragged into Mori's office. He asked a lot of questions, so much I was sweating bullets 'cause I couldn't answer any of 'em. [And angry. So very, very angry and betrayed that Dazai had just up and left.]
It was all pretense? He wanted you gone?
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(which is the whole point of the whole thing. he loved oda. even if oda hadn't asked him to do something different with his life, he would be completely different in the mafia from his now promise. not usable for mori whatsoever.)
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"A leader develops their subordinates and places them wherever they best fit and disposes of them if necessary."
"I will gladly perform the most heinous acts for the sake of this organization. That is what it means to be a leader.
I do it all for the organization and the protection of this beloved city."
He'd done it because that was what a great leader did. But... for Dazai, he'd taken the one person he'd ever loved so deeply. Dazai had pulled the mafia to new heights with his work, and the payment he'd been given was...]
Fuck.
[It's the only word he can offer, breathed out softly beneath his breath.]
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for a good reason, even if parts of that are still hidden from chuuya as they are. maybe one day, he'll feel comfortable enough to tell chuuya what it felt like to hold odasaku in his arms, to hear his last words, and make that promise to the man who took his last breath in his arms.
right now, he just taps chuuya's back.)
Welcome to the truth, Chuuya.
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Maybe that's why Dazai said all of that. Because they weren't in Yokohama, and there weren't any crises going on to deal with.
The tap on his back helps, admittedly. Dazai's touch always seems to settle him, even without his ability in use. Something about the association, maybe. He's not sure.]
I'm not gonna ask why you didn't tell me any of this shit, because I'm pretty sure half this shit is treason to even know. But I do want to know: Why now?
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(why would he have? what would be the point to tell chuuya then and there? here, there's no treason to commit. there's nothing chuuya can do for it, and since he already is without the mafia, well.
it's not like dazai can take his home away from him by exposing it. much easier to be an ass and not say all of that, anyway.)
Let's go drink.
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[Well that was a short and sweet answer, but it was certainly an answer. Chuuya is slightly comforted it though, and that's what matters.
He reaches up to grab Dazai's hand, half dragging himself up and half pushing himself up in the process.]
Yeah, I think I need some wine right now. You're still not running away from me, though.
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(see, however he might yap, the hand never moves away. after all this, it's good for 'no longer human' to remind chuuya that he's alright. he's safe. even if it is a bomb in the shape of a conversation.)
Ah, you made me think of painful things. The bill is on you.
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[He rolls his eyes but he doesn't remove his hand either, the stability provided by Dazai more than welcome. Chuuya's self control of his ability was excellent for what his ability was, but moments like these made him want to destroy something with his bare hands, for the tainted sorrow sparking beneath his skin in response.]
Fine, whatever. I'll pay this time.
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(he might not really feel the abilities, the wash, pull, push, when 'no longer human' is so quiet, but he knows what's happening beneath chuuya's skin. he knows the other too much.
consider the squeezing of his small hand a quiet comfort.)
You're paying Odasaku a glass, too. You'd've liked him. Pay respects, you see?
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But Dazai might or might not be surprised by the ease of Chuuya's response.]
sure, sure. Anyone who could handle you deserves a drink from me, honestly.
[And unspoken is the fact that Chuuya is aware, keenly, of the comfort such little acts bring. He still visits the graves of his friends, burns incense for them, shares little tidbits about his life. Assures Albatross that he's taking good care of his bike, too.]
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